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Kim Jong Un Demands Supercuts
Ever since he’s taken over the leadership of North Korea, Kim Jong Un has had a bug up his ass about something. He has been cranky and irritable, threatening nuclear destruction, war and total annihilation of the United States and South Korea. Now we know why. It’s his hair. The Lint Screen had an exclusive…
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Fritos Pledges To Nuke Iran
The winner of the Iowa caucuses in the nonhuman presidential campaign is out to prove he’s no softy when it comes to foreign policy. Bag of Fritos released a statement today promising to “blow Iran to hell and back with nuclear bombs” if it is elected president. “My diplomacy is do as I say or…
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Kim Jong Il Weds Vegetable
In a formal press release issued this morning, it was reported “The Supreme Leader has taken a bride of the utmost virtue and honor. The Father Supreme will now be Groom Generalissimo to a coveted creature who is the center of his superbly excellent love and devotion. Our Benevolent Lord will be the most perfect…