The Lint Screen

Now that Richard and Mayumi Heene have admitted that last week’s ‘Balloon Boy’ episode was a hoax, authorities are determined to make them pay. Not with a fine or legal proceedings, but with a dangerous act for the couple’s 6-year old son named Falcon who was allegedly in the balloon that received incredible national attention.

“These parents are scum exploiting their own son for publicity purposes,” said Sheriff Paul Orming, “now the entire family is going to have to pay. We’re going to send that little chicken to outer space!”

Orming is proposing sending the young boy who was allegedly in the balloon into outer space inside a vintage space capsule. “The parents said their kid was in the balloon and the nation watched in record numbers as the drama unfolded. Later we found out the little coward wasn’t in the balloon at all– he was hiding! That won’t stand! People like drama and we’re going to give it to them!”

Since viewership was so high for the ‘Balloon Boy’ episode, Orming believes sending the innocent 6-year old into space will garner even more media attention.

“This family wants to be famous, well, by gum we’ll make them freaking famous. We’re going to make Falcon a hero, if he makes it back alive, then they can get their own reality show like they wanted, co-starring Wolf Blitzer, Diane Sawyer or Larry King.”

The little boy could not be found for comment. Many suspect he’s hiding.