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Ted Cruz Attacks His Likability Issue Head-On
Sen. Ted Cruz is out to change public opinion! The despicable little cretin is upset that many people have described him as a repulsive creep devoid of any humanity with the charisma of a moldy mop soaking in a bucket of cat urine and tobacco spit. Enter Political POW! Marketing. The Dallas-based “brand enhancement” firm…
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Cruz Says Trump Quit Race
A jubilant Ted Cruz told a packed auditorium in Manchester, New Hampshire that his main rival in Tuesday’s primary, Donald J. Trump, had dropped out of the race. “The Donald has quit the presidential race because that’s what quitters do–– they quit,” said a smiling Cruz.”Let’s face it, Trump’s a born loser. And Rubio, Carson,…
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Michelle Obama Possibly Cheated Oscars, Cruz Claims
Feisty freshman Texas Senator Ted Cruz has accused First Lady Michelle Obama of “possibly cheating the world out of the legitimate winner of the Oscar for Best Picture, Lincoln by instead naming Argo as the winning film.” Cruz noted that because the First Lady read the winner’s name from a sealed envelope, “who knows what…