Tag: Texas

  • The Best Movie of 2011?

    2011 was hardly a great year for motion pictures. War Horse, The Help, Moneyball, Hugo, The Artist and The Descendants were lauded as some of the best. While many were way above average, none were worthy of much thought beyond the initial screening. Now you can see what The Lint Screen believes was the best…

  • Monkey Law Enforcement

    Austin, Texas is employing trained monkeys to ‘man’ light poles for keeping law-breaking drivers in line. If a motorist runs a red light, the monkey leaps onto the car and scrambles its way inside the vehicle to gouge the driver’s eyes out and spray the interior with urine.

  • Easter Bunny Blasts Boy As Socialist

    Fortunately for little Frankie Urbeenor, he sleeps on a very absorbent pillow. The child cried torrents last night after his visit to The Easter Bunny at the East Waverly Heights Mall in Port Arthur, Texas.

  • The Parking Lot Letters

    Behind the writing of every great book there is a great story. Today I share a few entries from a book I wrote in the mid-late 80’s entitled “The Parking Lot Letters (One Man’s Pursuit of Quality Parking)”. The book has been published by various copy machines I have known over the years. The idea…

  • Mannequin Wins Madoff Fonzie Scheme (Pt. 7)

    A despondent Bernard Madoff is reportedly on suicide watch. He’s been trumped, by a mannequin.

  • Oval Office Hit By Madoff Fonzie Scheme (pt. 4)

    In a startling development, it appears ex-president George W. Bush may have his sights set on wearing the Greek fishing cap de coolness from the mysterious deposed Nigerian prince.