Entries tagged with “Wall Street”.

Think of the saddest tearjerker movie you’ve ever seen, now prepare for it to become #2 on the soggy hankie list.

The documentary Inside Job is a must-see film about the financial meltdown that crippled the world thanks to the piggy greed of fat cat pin stripers on Wall Street and in the government.

It's all they can eat, and we'll pick up the tab.

When a country allows five financial lobbyists for every politician and $5 billion in annual lobbying funds, what else could we expect but the best politicians money can buy?

There’s plenty of evil bastards to blame: financial firm scumbags, shady politicians in the pockets of lobbyists and academics getting their palms greased to concoct and support the tools for raping the public to benefit the rich.

Inside Job brilliantly shows us how we’ve gotten to the place we are today–– with 1% of the nation’s population controlling 23% of its wealth.

There are heroes in this movie; people who spoke and wrote and questioned the madness that was going on, all to no avail. Reason lost out to greed; the greed of financial firms to gamble, the greed of politicians to allow the rules to change to protect the greedy and the greed of the public to actually believe they could get something for nothing (or next to nothing).

None of it would have been possible had the laws not been changed and had regulation been enforced. But it wasn’t. We let Alan Greenspan and the Wall Street goons lead us down an ideological path to the guillotines.

The fix was in–– the bastards won, our economy almost collapsed and the public bailed out all those responsible.

The saddest part of all is this: nothing’s really changed except that we’ve had our coffers raped. The rich are richer. Too big to fail is now super-sized too big to fail. Politicians are still funded shills for our corporate overlords.

Inside Job lays it all out and you can see many of the worst elements of our society on camera actually trying to support their cases. In the end, we’ve all been played for suckers, and while I’d love to say this is a movie that could never be made again, I’m afraid such is not the case.

As Charles Ferguson, the filmmaker said in his Academy Awards acceptance speech for best documentary, “Not one of these guys is in jail yet.” And the very same people responsible for much of the robbery are still empowered in government, still lobbying, still playing three card monty with bad debt. We can all sleep well knowing the foxes are guarding the hen house.

Cry, America. Cry enough to wring your hankie because your wallet’s already been wrung dry.

Jobs prepares for an enormous change as Wall Street holds its collective bad breath.

Steven P. Jobs, the iconic co-founder of Apple Computers, is rumored to be contemplating a major new direction for Apple in the upcoming weeks.

Sources close to the iron-fisted leader whisper that rumors of a new initiative are true: Jobs will be changing his uniform from a black mock turtleneck and blue jeans to something “with a lot more flair and pizazz!”

Jobs has worn the same uniform of a mock black turtleneck and jeans ever since he was a child, and many financial analysts believe this fashion consistency has been a critical component of Apple’s enormous success.

“Sure Apple makes cool computers and stuff,” said a high powered trader who demanded anonymity, “but what people are really buying is Steve’s consistent look. Depending on what he changes to, I think the stock price could get hammered.”

Many Wall Streeters believe if Jobs makes a change to a denim shirt with black khakis, the stock price will slip initially but could come back. “But if Jobs goes crazy with, say, a plaid shirt and white parachute linen pants, all bets are off. Expect the stock to crater.”

Many fear even worse fashion outlooks. One wild rumor making the rounds is that Jobs will opt for Hawaiian shirts, Capri pants, black satin pumps and porkpie hats. “If that happens, I don’t care what kind of i-Crap you’re making– no one’s buying!”

A proposal for a more civilized feeding time for bankers.

As evil self-serving politicians go on a witch hunt against Goldman Sachs and other Wall Street financial types, I’ve become worried.

What if the dastardly politicos enact regulations that might curb the free marketeers from earning their paltry hundreds of millions of dollars annually?

What if there are no longer billions of bucks for bonuses, paid for by taxpayers, for losing on aggressive bets made?

What if financial lobbyists don’t enjoy unlimited budgets to grease politicians and assist in writing laws ensuring future riches?

In other words, what if stupid laws cap the opportunities for gambling, greed and gouging the little people who don’t even understand how banks make money?

After many sleepless nights, I have come to a simple solution: cut out the middlemen.

Rather than the outdated system we currently have– bankers hiring lobbyists to get politicians in the pocket and help write laws that enable financial fatcats to gamble and win big, or get paid-off by taxpayers if they lose– let’s just cut out the lobbyists and politicians and simply have taxpayers pay Wall Streeters directly.

The market would be much more efficient if we taxpayers simply tithed 5-8% of our income to our banking overlords from the get-go. Why should they have the inconvenience of waiting for our income to be taxed, then passed their way?

With my bold new proposal, these pinstripers wouldn’t even need to trump-up risky gambles or cockamamie financial instruments. They wouldn’t have to hurt their ivy league brains conjuring schemes to screw people– we’d just fork over the dough up front and acknowledge our woeful ignorance. Then the civilized cufflinked crowd could get back to more important matters, like buying estates on the Hamptons or dandruff control.

Why must we continue these pointless charades in Washington? Help save the bankers– write your congressional servants and let’s cut to the chase.


Guess who wants your money?

Guess who wants your money?

     Doing a little investigative journalistic work, I think I’ve blown the lid off this whole Wall Street meltdown… and it ain’t pretty.

     Think about it: Wall Street lobbyists grease the palms of politicians who pass laws deregulating the banking industry so they can sell sub-prime loans to any jamoke with a pulse then take those risky loans and re-sell them to investors building a shaky house of cards that comes tumbling down so now they’re asking the government for a blank check to give the same hucksters who created the problem a nice payday so that they can skip off into the sunset with pockets stuffed leaving taxpayers with two fistfuls of diddly squat.

    So who’s at fault? Hmmm, they see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil…


Hey, what the heck! What the freakin’ heck!

Hey, what the heck! What the freakin’ heck!

     I don’t know about you, but I’m worried sick. This financial market meltdown is giving me the willies, and now I think I see the devious greedy paws of chimps on the taxpayer’s checkbook.

     Get a load of this: while Bernanke and Paulson are begging politicians for a big fat Wall Street payday, chimps dressed to the nines have been spotted in the crowd, hungrily licking their chops.

     Now I’m not usually an alarmist, but what if these chimps are behind the entire brouhaha? What if it was their clever plot to deregulate the financial markets, slash rates and make money easy to get, take on a ton of bad debt, fail miserably and then stick it to taxpayers to bail the banks out? Are chimps running Wall Street? Are we patsies, being played like a glockenspiel?

     Now some may think I’m out of line here, but I’m going to Brooks Brothers to see if chimps and monkeys are snatching up fancy duds.  Something stinks here, stinks to high heaven.