Entries tagged with “Wham”.

The ink on this horsehide makes it worth millions.

The ink on this horsehide makes it worth millions.

With the World Series underway, The Lint Screen is happy to continue its coverage of the world’s most valuable baseball, a story we broke back in the spring of 2010 (Part #1) (Part #2).

This ball was secured for an undisclosed sum on the internet and features autographs of some of the most impressive people in history. Let’s continue a look at the incredible baseball backstories of some of the signers.

Stevie Wonder played in a 1969 game for the Houston Astros against the Los Angeles Dodgers. Although the famous singer is sightless, he was used as a pinch hitter. The first pitch was a fastball on the outside right corner of the plate that the umpire called a strike. “What are you, blind?” Wonder said with a smile. The next pitch was a curve ball that hung over the plate. Wonder smacked a 500-foot shot over the right center field fence and trotted around the bases to deafening applause. He never played again, except for music. He played lots of music.

One of the most valuable signatures is that of Jonas Salk, the medical researcher who discovered the first polio vaccine. Salk was an enthusiastic Mets fan and was given the opportunity to pitch a game against the St. Louis Cardinals on July, 17, 1966. Salk walked the first 24 batters and was pulled. The distinguished doc was booed by angry fans. The guy sucked.

Janis Joplin had one trip to the plate for the Milwaukee Brewers in a game against the Yankees on May 28, 1970. She was hit by the first pitch, took her base, stole second, advanced to third on a error by the right fielder and scored on a sacrifice fly. “This is a day I’ll never forget,” the famous singer told reporters after the game. “What is it, like Tuesday or something?”

The Boston Red Sox used Desmond Tutu as a designated hitter on August 14, 1989 in a game against the Baltimore Orioles. Tutu struck out twice, was thrown out following a bunt and floated a single into left field. “I may be the best player ever,” he said following the game. “I rock royally, bitches!”

The 80’s pop sensation Wham! played on the Seattle Mariners in a game against the Texas Rangers on September 3, 1984. George Michael and Andrew Ridgeley shared a uniform and pinch hit rocking a grand slam homer over the centerfield fence. The Mariners tried to sign the duo to a multi-year deal but the pop stars declined. “Rockers get more chicks than ball players,” George Michael said.

Other notables who signed the is baseball were legendary center fielder and astronomer Copernicus (a surprisingly good infielder), Cher’s first husband and golden-gloved Irish rocker Bono (who had a pea shooter for an arm), and epic base stealer, director Alfred Hitchcock.

If you’d like to make a bid on this baseball, make an offer.

The internet was created over 20 years ago, providing a canvas for millions of websites and billions of pages. In its history, there was one thing you could always count on with 100% certainty– absolute truth and accuracy.

That may no longer be the case!

Sir Reginald Highphatt, a British scientist, recently made a startling discovery: a fact that was in fact not a fact. “I was chagrined,” said the esteemed learned man, “I was simply astounded and, dare I say, flabbergasted to discover an inaccuracy.”

What was the falsehood? An alleged playlist from Sir Winston Churchill’s iPod.

Was he really into Wham, Steppenwolf and Jay-Z?

Was he really into Wham, Steppenwolf and Jay-Z?

“When I first encountered this, I thought it seemed rather suspect, after all, Churchill was hardly a music lover. He once attended an orchestra performance and had all its members slaughtered to, I quote, ‘stop the infernal caterwonking!’ But what really titillated my investigatory senses was the first three choices on the Prime Minister’s alleged playlist: ‘Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go’ by Wham, ‘The Pusher’ by Steppenwolf and ‘Run This Town’ by Jay-Z. I had a hard time believing Churchill could be into Steppenwolf, and especially not ‘The Pusher’— ‘Magic Carpet Ride’, maybe, but the extended play of ‘The Pusher’ is for the most ardent of fans only.”

And so, Sir Highphatt began some extensive research and discovered a few startling things:
1. Churchill died before the invention of the iPod
2. See above
3. Ditto

“As much as it pains me to say,” the downcast scientist said, “I’m afraid we will no longer have 100% assurance that everything you read on the internet is the God’s honest truth and beyond reproach. Pity, that. I use it as research tool for all my papers and books.”

Be aware: some things on the internet may not be true!