The war is won. Done and doner! Cue the ticker-tape parade.

After a bombing run late last week, the Man in The Moon has officially surrendered to its overlord, Planet Earth.

We own this sucker. In your face, moonie, you're ours!

We own this sucker. In your face, moonie, you're ours!

“Look, man,” said a contrite Moon, “I don’t know what I did to get you guys so hacked off, but I catch the drift– ‘uncle,’ I give up. You guys are boss.”

The Moon was surprised and shocked to discover that the United States of America’s NASA orchestrated the bombing mission.

“The same morning I get bombed, I hear that President Obama wins The Nobel Peace Prize. WTF?! Where’s the justice in your world anyway? He bombs me and gets a Peace Prize? I don’t get you people at all, man.”

Now that we own The Moon, who’s up for colonizing? C’mon, people!