High School Girls: “Matt Gaetz is cheugy, he’s like, ick!”

A slight majority of Americans have spoken: they want the thrill ride of an unpredictable, unstable, narcissistic leader at the wheel of democracy because he promised a brighter future and a cabinet filled with “the very best people.” President-Elect Donald J. Trump, a convicted felon, announced that he is selecting gonzo Rep. Matt Gaetz (FL) … Read more

Trump Nabs Two Immigrants At MSG Racist Rally

Donald J. Trump is dead serious about solving America’s immigration crisis. The brilliant political mastermind held a sheetless KKK rally yesterday in Madison Square Garden to show support for his 2024 presidential run, but it was a sly ruse. The event was a cleverly disguised sting operation designed to capture dangerous immigrants. “This was a … Read more

Old Kook “Gets Jiggy” With A Dog Killer

Convicted sex offender and G.O.P. presidential candidate Donald J. Trump got his “groove on” last night at a Town Hall in Pennsylvania, and it was so exciting that people fainted. “I’m like The Beatles,” Trump tells The Lint Screen. “But I’m much more popular than they were. Sorry, John, Paul, George, and Bingo, Trump’s got … Read more