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Terrorism in Gwinnett
Here in God’s Country, we like to say “If you can’t trust a water tower, who can you trust?” Well, tragedy is slowly striking Gwinnett County as a group of terrorists disassemble one of the greatest roadside attractions in our free land: the Twin Towers of Gwinnett Greatness. For over three decades, these I-85 icons…
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Colbert Topples Gov’t!
Stephen Colbert, the alleged funnyman and host of The Colbert Report on Comedy Central, was invited to testify before Congress on Friday about how working as a migrant worker on farms isn’t as much fun as you’d think it would be and at the end of his talk he said that the workers (many of…
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Jobs to Announce Major Change for Apple
Steven P. Jobs, the iconic co-founder of Apple Computers, is rumored to be contemplating a major new direction for Apple in the upcoming weeks. Sources close to the iron-fisted leader whisper that rumors of a new initiative are true: Jobs will be changing his uniform from a black mock turtleneck and blue jeans to something…
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The Importance of The Orderly Order
There’s an alarming trend in America’s restaurants: the uber-waiters and waitresses who take orders without writing them down.
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Quran Not To Be Burned; Dick And Jane To Be Torched Instead
Gainesville, Florida Rev. Terry Jones has decided not to hold a public burning of copies of the Quran, the central religious text of Islam, on the ninth anniversary of 9-11. Instead, he now wants to burn copies of the classic textbook reader series “Dick and Jane.” “I’ve got the world’s attention and I’ve got to…
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Single Tiger On Prowl for “Lucky Ladies”
Recently divorced golf legend Tiger Woods is on the prowl for some old female companionship. A man who claims he knows Tiger very, very well and swears that he is not a liar, reports that the megastar golfer is frustrated with both his golf game and his love life. “When Tiger was married, he had…