Shecky almost played the Super Bowl!

As the world prepares for the greatest game in the history of the world, the earth also prepares to watch the bestest commercials ever aired on planet earth.

Not to overstate the case, but this Sunday night’s Super Bowl broadcast will be the defining moment of civilization.

In preparation, here are VI little known facts about some famous Super Bowl commercials of the past.

I. The “Mean Joe Green” spot for Coca-Cola was originally written for comedian Shecky Green. In the spot, Shecky is followed by a young fan after performing in Las Vegas. The kid offers the yuckster a Coke. Shecky resists, sees that the kid is upset, takes the bottle and chugs it. As the kid walks away, Shecky tosses him his microphone as a gift. Later it was decided that the commercial should take a more ‘football slant’ and Mean Joe Green of the Pittsburgh Steelers was cast. A little known fact: Shecky and Joe are NOT related.

II. Apple’s “1984” spot never aired. Steve Jobs merely thought about it and we all saw it.

III. McDonald’s “The Showdown” commercial using Larry Bird and Michael Jordan in a shoot-out for a Big Mac and fries showed the basketball stars making incredibly impossible shots. The shots were real, but it took 134,824 takes to get them. The basketball stars demanded the behind the scenes story never be revealed to save their fragile egos and reputations.

IV. The Tabasco Sauce exploding mosquito commercial almost never aired due to extensive protests from the SPCBSI (Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Blood Sucking Insects). When vats of hot oil were dumped on protestors outside Tabasco headquarters, they agreed the commercial was O.K. to air.

V. The famous Bud Bowl spots were rigged. Bud Light always covered the spread and bookies made huge profits on the vig. When Budweiser demanded Bud Light be tested for steroids, the Bud Bowl quickly disappeared before a scandal started.

VI. Go Daddy uses sexy girls to grab attention. Seriously.

Come back to The Lint Screen on Monday, February 7 for our annual wrap-up critique of all the spots aired in the 2011 Super Bowl– and let the debating begin!