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Santa Claus Is Not Coming to Town
Is Ol’ Nick a Saint… or a demented perv? That’s the question billions of people are asking themselves today as news broke of the jolly fat man being thrown into the hoosegow where he’ll stay over the holidays. Santa Claus (a.k.a. Earl “Pudgy” Vartondablatt) was arrested today outside of a house in Monroe, Louisiana. He…
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Man Receives Spam E-Mail, Is Discouraged
Phil Whaddit is a generally optimistic fellow. He believes that found pennies, a rabbit’s foot and unattached horseshoes bring good luck, and that acts of kindness will garner entry through the pearly gates in the after-gig. Mr. Whaddit recently received an e-mail in his personal account that perplexed him and allowed a ray of pessimism…