Fletcher says the country was given as tip for feeding the natives.

Fletcher says the country was given as tip for feeding the natives Thanksgiving dinner.

Into the hub-bub surrounding the immigration brouhaha enters Edward Fletcher, a 67-year-old Boston native and direct descendant of Moses Fletcher, a passenger on the Mayflower bringing pilgrims to America in 1620. Mr. Fletcher has “had his fill of the silly jabberwocky” about immigration reform.

“As far as I’m concerned,” the tall Yankee told The Lint Screen, “damn near all you people here today are illegals. If you can’t trace your people to the Mayflower, then get out of our country!”

Fletcher believes lax laws and “stupid liberal symbols like the Statue of Liberty” have ruined America by stocking these shore with “Germans, Irish, Poles, Jews, Arabs, Italians, Catholics Africans, French, Russians, Far Easterners, Scots and a whole gang of foreign na-er-do-wells who have no business or right being here.”

Fletcher believes all foreigners “need to be rounded up and shipped back from whence they came! The gravy train is over, you freeloaders,” the irate Pilgrim said. “This country is ours, those of us descended from the brave souls who landed here and earned our citizenship fair and square by feeding the Indians Thanksgiving dinner, and getting their country in return as a gift. I say that if your people weren’t on the Mayflower, then get on out of here!”

The irate man paused. “But before you go, build a tall wall around our borders. It’s the least you could do!”