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Pols Protest x-Ray Porn
Washington politicians are lighting their torches, waving pitchforks in the air and giving loud angry mob grumbles to protest total body scanning x-Ray equipment being used as a safeguard against terrorists.
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TSA Wants Underwear
In response to the recent attempt by Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab to blow up an aircraft with explosives he had concealed in his underwear, the TSA has announced new security regulations that include the removal of underwear and shoes before going through airport X-ray machines.
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Lonely No More
Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, who is the youngest of 16 children, may have felt unloved and misunderstood by his parents. “It’s quite common for the 16th child to have loneliness issues,” said noted psychologist Dr. Raymond G. Lillymutton, “they do not get the devoted love and devotion that the first 15 children receive, so they naturally…
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Monkey Terror Alert
Some people claim I have a weird obsessive vendetta against monkeys and chimps, as if I felt inferior to these hairy beasts because they can climb trees and fling poo better than I can (sure, they might have me on accuracy, but I think I can take them on distance). Look, I’ve…