Entries tagged with “mannequins”.

They are the world’s most misunderstood population. Mannequins don the latest fashions and fight the urge to move as a public service to humanity. The Lint Screen begins an in-depth look into these vital group through exclusive first person narratives that will illuminate, educate and titillate. Enjoy this stab at your so-called new journalism.

Jinsey, more than just a mannequin.

Jinsey is not a fan of human hands.

“I hate people. They walk by, some don’t even notice me, and some do nothing but notice me. They gawk. They’re the idiots who are entranced by me. They reach out and ‘feel’ my material with their grubby paws stinking of urine and McDonald’s fries. They coo and swoon. ENOUGH ALREADY! Unhand me, move on–– leave me the hell alone.

I am better than this. I am better than you. ALL OF YOU!

I remain quiet, and still. I observe, I analyze, I remember. Do not forget this, people–– I REMEMBER! And some day, some sweet day soon, I will come extract my revenge. And when I do, you’ll wish you never touched my beautiful outfit!

Be warned humans. Keep your miserable mitts to yourself!”

by Jinsey, working in the shoppes at The Wynne, Las Vegas

It takes great confidence to name a store this name.

In my travels as an adman, I’ve been to many places and seen many things. I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain. I’ve seen James Taylor on fire and pleading for water. Any kind of water. But I’ve never seen a retail establishment with a name that tops the one in downtown Salisbury, North Carolina: OK Wigs.

Now, maybe OK is the initials of the owner, but I prefer to think it is a humble statement of the store’s inventory. I can imagine a customer wandering in off the street and the following conversation taking place…

The wigs look better than OK. But then again...

“Hi. Can you tell me about this wig?”
“Oh, it’s brown hair and it’s OK.”
“Is it a pretty good wig?”
“Ummm, I don’t think I’d go that far. It’s OK.”
“Yeah, OK. I mean, it pretty much covers the skull. See?”
“I see…”
“It’s hair-like. You can get brush it just like real hair.”
“Ummm hmmm…”
“So, I guess it’s pretty much OK.”
“It’s an OK wig?”
“Yep, OK. Definitely OK.”
“Nothing special.”
“No. Just OK.”
“Not the best?”
“Absolutely not the best.”
“And saying it’s pretty good would be going too far?”
“Probably. I mean, it’s not that good.”
“But it is OK?”
“Sure is. It’s OK all day long.”
“I see. And what about this wig over here?”
“It’s OK, too.”
“Is it any better than the other wig?”
“Nope. They’re both pretty OK.”
“And what about all these other wigs?”
“Well, let’s see. That’s OK. OK. OK. OK. OK. Well, they’re all OK.”
“So, they’re all OK wigs?”
“Yep. That’s all we sell here, OK wigs. Hence, the store’s name.”
“OK. I admire your humble honesty. I guess I’ll buy a couple OK wigs.”

And so it would go: hair flying out the door like a tornado through a six-seat barber shop. If you’re ever around downtown Salisbury, stop in and buy a few OK Wigs. They’ll make great gifts for your mannequin heads, or your own.