In a secret conversation held in Washington, a top ranking official confidentially told The Lint Screen that the deal has gained bipartisan approval and looks like it will be going forward.
“What we’ll do is blanket the world with an e-mail from a fictitious diplomat who is managing the estate of his recently departed relative. He’ll inform the recepient that he or she can receive $680,000,000 in U.S. funds that was left them by a distant rich uncle. In order to get the monies, the person simply needs to forward some information like his or her personal bank account number so that we can wire the funds. When the mark writes back with the financial info, we suck the account dry. The whole thing’s a brilliant ruse, see, there is no dead rich uncle– the uncle is Uncle Sam and he’ll get rich toot-sweet with this little scam!”
With that, the insider laughed loudly, ignited a Chesterfield, inhaled deeply and walked into the shadows of the Lincoln Memorial as he whistled.
Sleep well, America. We’re almost rich.