The Lint Screen

Tag: taxpayers

  • Help Save The Bankers!

    As evil self-serving politicians go on a witch hunt against Goldman Sachs and other Wall Street financial types, I’ve become worried. What if the dastardly politicos enact regulations that might curb the free marketeers from earning their paltry hundreds of millions of dollars annually?

  • Political Parties Dissolve, Sponsorship Evolves

    “We can openly allow corporate fascism to rule enabling us to serve our corporate overlords without the hindrance of the so-called people. Sure, we need them for their votes, but that’s about it. After the election, they just get in the way of things. There’s no need for people in a democracy like ours.”

  • Are We Making A $700 Billion Mistake? (Pt. 1)

           I don’t know about you, but I’m worried sick. This financial market meltdown is giving me the willies, and now I think I see the devious greedy paws of chimps on the taxpayer’s checkbook.      Get a load of this: while Bernanke and Paulson are begging politicians for a big fat Wall…

  • 7 Ways To Capitalize on AIG

           Last week, we American taxpayers bought ourselves AIG. I’ve never owned an insurance company, but I do have a few proposals about running our new enterprise: Let’s outsource for cheap labor in China and India. Let’s not insure any high risk people. Let’s continually raise premiums. If there are claims, let’s dispute…