The Lint Screen

Tag: Ohio

  • Adorable Kitten Considers Prez Run

    An incredibly cute kitten in Canfield, Ohio is reportedly considering a run for the Oval Office. Mr. Tuggles, an adorable mixed breed feline, is said to be contemplating declaring his candidacy in the 2012 presidential election race. Although the kitten is not close to 35 years old, a Constitutional requirement for serving as a U.S.…

  • My Idyllic Nun

    As a kid, I attended St. Patrick’s Elementary School in Hubbard, Ohio. My uniform was sharp-creased navy blue dress pants with a crisp white shirt and clip-on tie. We had ‘lay teachers’ (ordinary civilians), but we were also taught by ruler-wielding nuns who smacked palms into submission. The pain told the brain and body to…

  • Chasing The Snakes on St. Paddy’s Day

    At St. Pat’s, St. Patrick’s Day was a big deal. Although the student population was probably 80% non-Irish kids, everyone wanted to be Irish on St. Patrick’s Day. I was Irish on St. Paddy’s Day, and darn near every day, and I resented these freeloaders hijacking ‘our’ holiday. All the Italian and Slavic kids sported…

  • A Russian Roulette Christmas

    Ah, the classic Christmas movies: “Miracle on 34th Street”, “White Christmas”, “It’s A Wonderful Life”, “A Christmas Story”… our family watched none of these on Christmas eve. We watched “The Deer Hunter” instead.

  • Frankly Speaking

         I first met him backstage at the Flamingo Hotel in Vegas. I was involved in a hotsy-totsy, topsy-turvy lovefest with a little lady who went by the name of Joey Heatherton. Her real name was Jo E. Heatherton but I had wisely advised her to change her name to “Joey” since “Jo E.”…