-
Debt Compromise Reached: “Hooray USA Day!” Plan Unveiled
“We recently conducted a $62 billion study to determine how average Americans raise funds when they are in a financial squeeze,” said R. “Bucky” Temptkins, a Republican Senator from Idaho. “What we found was that some people starting cooking meth or engaging in prostitution, which while lucrative, did not sit well with our family values.…
-
Politicians Hit BP Piñata
It was open season on BP CEO Tony Hayward yesterday in D.C. as politicians on both sides of the aisle beat on him in a great display of what passes for leadership these days. “You shouldn’t have allowed this massive oil leak to happen,” said one representative. “There ought to be a law against such…
-
Help Save The Bankers!
As evil self-serving politicians go on a witch hunt against Goldman Sachs and other Wall Street financial types, I’ve become worried. What if the dastardly politicos enact regulations that might curb the free marketeers from earning their paltry hundreds of millions of dollars annually?
-
Health Care Summit A Huge Success!
Today’s health care summit held at Blair House, across the street from The White House, was a resounding success as democrat and republican law makers came together to spitball some ideas of how to deal with rising health care costs.
-
Political Parties Dissolve, Sponsorship Evolves
“We can openly allow corporate fascism to rule enabling us to serve our corporate overlords without the hindrance of the so-called people. Sure, we need them for their votes, but that’s about it. After the election, they just get in the way of things. There’s no need for people in a democracy like ours.”
-
Pity Poor AIG
Americans own 80% of some company called AIG, which I believe stands for Assets Instantly Gone. We’ve taken almost $200 billion of our taxpayer money and shoveled it into a black hole that has lost trillions. Now these same inconsiderate American taxpayers are bellyaching because the brainiacs running AIG were paid a paltry $165 million…