The Lint Screen, Satire/Humor/Etc.

Tag: The Moon

  • Moon Surrenders

    The war is won. Done and doner! Cue the ticker-tape parade.

    After a bombing run late last week, the Man in The Moon has officially surrendered to its overlord, Planet Earth.

    We own this sucker. In your face, moonie, you're ours!
    We own this sucker. In your face, moonie, you’re ours!
    “Look, man,” said a contrite Moon, “I don’t know what I did to get you guys so hacked off, but I catch the drift– ‘uncle,’ I give up. You guys are boss.”

    The Moon was surprised and shocked to discover that the United States of America’s NASA orchestrated the bombing mission.

    “The same morning I get bombed, I hear that President Obama wins The Nobel Peace Prize. WTF?! Where’s the justice in your world anyway? He bombs me and gets a Peace Prize? I don’t get you people at all, man.”

    Now that we own The Moon, who’s up for colonizing? C’mon, people!

  • Moon Attacked

    You can run but you can't hide! Bombs away!!!
    You can run but you can’t hide! Bombs away!!!
    At long last, we have bombed The Moon!

    For years I have been proposing a full assault on The Moon. Every night it sits there smugly in the sky, taunting us with its pristine lunar arrogance and orbital confidence. This morning we finally did the deed.

    We’ve allegedly stepped on it, littered it, planted flags on it, lost golf balls on it, even had cows jump over it–– now we’ve shown that stupid satellite (it’s not even a planet!) who’s boss.

    Take that, you rascal, you!
    Take that, you rascal, you!
    I had proposed we let Slim Pickens ride the bomb down, but NASA nixed the idea because apparently he’s dead, which I don’t believe because I saw “Dr. Strangelove” recently and he looked fine.

    Whatever. The job was done and we’ve bombed that baby but good. Maybe now we won’t be seeing so many werewolves and vampires.

    Keep them nukes on watch and pointed up, though– The Moon may attack back. That lousy sneaky orb.