They cock their heads as people recite their complex orders of “a garden salad with no cucumbers or onions, extra tomatoes, light ranch dressing on the side and a meatloaf platter, light on the tomato sauce, sub fries for mashed potatoes– oh, and could I get spinach instead of green beans?”
Later, the server brings a veggie soup and a meatloaf sandwich with onion rings.
There is no shame in writing things down, wait-people. The diners of America will not mock you for resorting to visual aids to remember our persnickety orders. In fact, we feel good about it. Writing the order down is reassuring and comforting. We do not give you extra credit or extra tips for not writing it down. No one expects you to be a memory expert, honestly. If you were, you wouldn’t be taking orders from swine like us.
Thanks. I feel better. Please refrain from spitting in my food.
4 responses to “The Importance of The Orderly Order”
Why not just dump these glorified order takers and allow diners to use portable electronic devices to order a meal? Just think, no more innocuous chatter and faux accents! No fumbled recitations of specials. Wait, we can’t do that. Our kids need someplace to work while they earn their way through school!
You’re right. Don’t hate the players, hate the game, and hating gets you hungry so order something.
Did that make any sense whatsoever?
Hmmmm…
I for one always bring a notepad to restaurants. That way when the waiter comes by and says ‘Hi, my name is Dirk, I’ll be your waiter tonight’, I can remember it and call him by his name the rest of the meal.
Excellent idea. I don’t write Dirk’s name down, and call him “Brian” all night. No wonder my food always tastes like angry spittle.