The Lint Screen, Satire/Humor/Etc.

Category: Reviews

The good, the bad, the ugly– one man’s call.

  • Pity Morley Safer

    Imagine you’ve spent a distinguished career as a respected journalist, and you finally get a shot to appear in a feature film alongside Bob Schieffer and Chris Matthews and HARRISON FORD!

    You’d be thinking, I’m golden, I got me some cinematic gold dust to sprinkle on my career.

    Unfortunately, the movie is a miserable mess called Morning Glory, the dreaded romantic comedy that has neither believable romance or laughable comedy. Yes, it’s that catnip called a date movie that every male attends knowing in the back of his mind that it will be disappointing, but holding optimistic hope that he may be fooled.

    No such luck here. This sucker never gets airborne.

    The plot is this: a perky producer played by Rachel McAdams is fired from her job working for a morning show in New Jersey. She’s down, she’s out, even her mom loses faith in her dream. Wah wah wahhhhhh.

    But you can’t keep a dreamer down. No, she gets an interview with the lowest ranked morning show on a national network– staffed with a dysfunctional crew and egomaniacal anchors, including an ex-Miss Arizona beauty queen played by Diane Keaton. Rachel gets hired as executive producer by boss man Jeff Goldblum. Hooray for the goodness and dreaming!

    The perky producer begins shaking things up. She fires one anchor (leaving Diane Keaton in her role) and hires a new anchor, a curmudgeonly legendary newsman who has a network contract that says he HAS to take any job offered. This guy is played by a sleepwalking Harrison Ford.

    Now imagine what sort of wacky hijinks might ensue with a lightweight female anchor (Keaton) and a heavyweight newsman anchor (Ford) who despise each other. I guarantee anything you imagined is better and funnier than what writer Aline Brosh McKenna imagined in her screenplay.

    The entire film is plodding, poorly directed and paced by Roger Michell, and ultimately as satisfying as having a popcorn kernel wedged between two teeth. I had that dreaded condition during my screening and it did distract me a bit from the pain of viewing this hateful little film.

    The scene with Morley, Bob, Chris and Harrison is one in which the pompous newsman is on a bender and out with his newsmen pals, and his perky producer comes to make him behave.

    A pity Morley Safer had to be a part of such an embarrassing mess. He may want to go to a war zone to make himself feel better and atone for appearing in Morning Glory.

    As for you, considered yourself fairly warned.

  • “Due Date” Way Overdue in The Laugh Department

    Waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting and waiting some more for laughs to arrive. Will they ever come?
    I can’t recall if it was Gene Siskel or Roger Ebert who came up with ‘beware three or more writers rule’, but he was very wise.

    The rules is simple: if a screenplay has three or more people listed in the credit, you’ve got an early warning sign it’s going to be a bad movie. Well, Due Date has four people credited as writers. Four writers, including director Todd Phillips, who should be ashamed for bringing this project to fruition.

    Then again, there’s no excuse for talented actors like Robert Downey, Jr. and Zach Galifianakis to get involved with a script this bad unless they are illiterate or really hard up for cash.

    The premise of the film is pretty simple: it’s Planes, Trains & Automobiles with some wacky plot twists and a cute dog thrown in for good measure (cute dogs are Hollywood’s catnip for guffaws). Whereas PT&A was fresh and funny, this film is stale and barely amusing.

    If you saw the trailer, save your money. You’ve seen the best parts of the film. If you’re a diehard Downey, Jr. or Galifianakis fan, wait for the video. If moviegoers waste good hard-earned cash on claptrap like this, Hollywood will keep serving us more.

    It’s time to send a message. I’ve done my part.

    I feel like watching Planes, Trains & Automobiles again.

  • Double Dipping & Loving It

    What price friendship? We’ll never know (can’t disclose).
    My movie barometer for a terrible movie is this: how much would someone have to pay me to see it again?

    There are films that I would not see again for $50. Not even if you threw in popcorn and Milk Duds.

    My barometer for a great movie is will I shell out money to see it again in a theatre? The answer is yes for The Social Network. I saw this film for the second time last night and it was every bit as enjoyable as the first go ’round.

    Now get a load of this: I’m seriously thinking about a third viewing.

    This movie is far and away the best movie of the year. The kind of movie you’ll want to spread the good word about on Facebook. If there is any taste in Hollywood, it should attract Academy Awards nominations like a wool suit collects dog hairs.

    Sorkin’s script, Fincher’s direction, Eisenberg, Garfield, Hammer(s), Timberlake– all the acting, the music, editing, cinematography, everything in this film is perfect. It’s wonderful to see an adult movie without car chases, huge special effects, convoluted characters or a plastic soul. It is the rarest of wonders.

    This is straight ahead a good story very well told and executed.

    See it, at least once in the theatre.

  • Cool Escapes

    A buddy film where the buddies hate each other. Sweet.
    This summer, the temperatures have averaged two degrees cooler than hell, so everyone is looking for reasons to get out of the heat and into the cool. Here’s two flicks worth the money to get you into your nearby air conditioned cineplex: The Other Guys and Scott Pilgrim vs The World.

    Both of these movies are extremes, meaning you’ll love them or hate them. This is as art should be.

    If you like your comedy silly, sophomoric and played straighter than an arrow lying on the Nebraska plains, The Other Guys fits the bill.

    In one tidy package you have the quintessential spoof of the buddy cop film genre. The opening car chase alone is worth the price of admission with Samuel L. Jackson and Dwayne (don’t call me ‘The Rock’) Johnson in hot pursuit. But this is just the appetizer.

    Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg play partners, the twist is Wahlberg detests Ferrell. Their captain is Michael Keaton (remember when he used to be bigger than Tom Hanks?). Keaton is terrific. I’d forgotten how great his comic sensibilities are and it’s nice to see him back trotting his comedic chops.

    Ferrell is pretty subdued for Ferrell– his character is an accountant. The real gem is Wahlberg who plays it so straight one wonders if his face was epoxied to keep from busting a gut.

    I’m not saying anything else except if you’re looking for a nice diversion from your Mensa meetings, this is it.

    Love is never as easy as you’d think it would be, is it?
    As for Scott Pilgrim vs The World, well, it failed miserably in its opening weekend and Hollywood insiders are predicting this could be one of the great bombs of recent history. What a pity if it turns out to be true.

    This film directed by Edgar Wright (Shaun of The Dead and Hot Fuzz) is completely fresh. I’m not familiar with the graphic novel comic books the film is based on, and I generally don’t care for geek fare, but this movie entertained me throughout. The graphics, the writing, the music, the risks it takes are all bold. I imagine the sensibilities will be too much for some people and that they’ll leave after the first 20 minutes. Bye bye.

    But if you’re intrigued, if you’re looking for something out of the norm, this is the cheese.

    Yes, Micael Cera plays the typical Michael Cera role, but he makes sense for this character. He’s a slacker bassist in a band and has been searching for love and coming up snake eyes for a long time. He confused, complex, sincere and insincere– just like a real live human being.

    The movie’s got action, adventure, a great soundtrack, laughs, terrific effects, Canadian cityscapes and angst galore.

    If this bombs at the box office, I suspect it will kill on DVD. See it while you can on the big screen. It’s well worth coming out of the heat to see.

    See both films. They’re a couple of the better movies so far this year.

  • Hot Tubbin’ Twilight

    Vampire, werewolf, boring girl, oh my!
    I saw two movies this weekend, Hot Tub Time Machine on the big screen, and New Moon (part of The Twilight Saga) on the small screen.

    Yeah, I know what you’re thinking– Scullin’s Mensa meeting must have been cancelled and he needed some intellectually-stimulating entertainment. Well, joke’s on you– I’m not even in Mensa!

    Let start with New Moon. This is part two in the tale of Bella (Kristin Stewart), a high school senior who is gaga for a 109-year old vampire, Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson– he’s so dreamy, and he carries 109 very well!). Edward moves away so he won’t be tempted to suck Bella’s blood and make her one of the undead– but Bella is also kind of into hunky, pumped-up Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner) who becomes a werewolf and well, werewolves don’t like ‘bloodsuckers’ but see, they have a peace pact of sorts and… screw it. This movie is two hours and ten minutes of feeling like the undead.

    It’s slow, it’s plodding, it’s a test of patience and perseverance. The character of Bella may be the single most uninteresting character ever brought to the silver screen. She is forlorn, she is pouty, she is withdrawn, she is longing, she is in the forbidden love zone. Bella is barely a one-dimensional character, and Kristin Stewart musters all her acting abilities to deliver this yawn of a human. Why would anyone, alive or undead, be attracted to someone this boring? Beats me.

    Then again, I’m sure the fans of the book loved this film and love the characters. Hey, we all have to face choices like vampires or werewolves, and this movie plays out our dilemma. I just wish the characters had some life in them. Now let’s talk about something worth seeing.

    Come on in, the water’s fine. Suit optional.
    Hot Tub Time Machine may not be one of the great comedies of all time, but it’s better than most of what passes for comedy these days. This is a film that has an inventive plot and a superb cast (although I could have done without Chevy Chase). Yes, it could have more production values, but this wasn’t a big budget affair. It’s just a good old fashioned raunchy comedic romp (note: don’t bring the kiddies unless they’re fans of f-bombs and plenty of compromising adult situations).

    It’s a smart film with plenty of laughs and moves at a nice clip. The faces on screen are fresh: Rob Corddry (ex-Daily Show with Jon Stewart funnyman), Craig Robinson (from The Office) Clark Duke (you’ve seen him, you just don’t know where) and John Cusack, (who co-produced and always delivers on screen). The story by Josh Heald, screenplay by Josh Heald, Sean Anders & John Morris, is consistently engaging, entertaining and fun. Come re-live a lot of the awfulness that was the 80’s with a band of characters who are very alive, with nary a werewolf or vampire in sight.

    Bottom line: Hot Tub Time Machine is worth immersion, New Moon could put an insomniac down for the count.

  • Not Their Best, But Still…

    Recently I saw two films from masters: Martin Scorsese’s Shutter Island and Joel and Ethan Coen’s A Serious Man. While I can’t gush over either film as being in the canon of their best work, both movies are essential viewing for fans.

    Shutter Island is very good. A solid ‘B’ that unfortunately feels like a ‘C’ because it comes from master Marty. In fact, if I didn’t know it was Scorsese, I wouldn’t have guessed it. The plot is interesting and the acting’s superb–Leo D. delivers, yet again, as does Ben Kingsley. But the visuals are uneven. Scorsese is a man of unique vision and typically his films have a look that is distinctive. In this case, there are some scenes that look too soundstagey. These visuals can take you out of the story, which is too bad. Although this is not one of his better films, it’s still worth spending some time in the dark with it. Just munch popcorn and go along for the spooky, mysterious ride.

    A professor searches for answers to life’s problems. Oy vey.

    I confess a huge crush on the writing and filmmaking of brothers Coen. It doesn’t matter what they do, I will see it. While I didn’t get to see A Serious Man in the theatre (it wasn’t around long or on many screens), I did get the DVD delivered by Netflix with the help of postal workers. I liked the film a lot.

    The buzz is that this film is very autobiographical: a Jewish family in the midwest, a son preparing for his bar mitzvah and a cast of quirky characters inhabiting groovy 1967 times. To bastardize DDB’s famous Levy’s Bread campaign, you don’t have to be Jewish to love this film, you just have to like plots that are not laid out to easily connect the dots for you. And to me, that was the purpose of the film– what’s it all mean? Like faith, whatever you want it to mean.

    The characters are interesting, the action compelling and the mixture of drama to humor enjoyable. To make it easy for lusting eyeballs, the gorgeous cinematography of Roger Deakins never disappoints. For your ears, there’s a very compelling soundtrack by Carter Burwell mixed in with those kooky 60’s rock and roll tunes. And the acting, it’s all first rate with great performances by Michael Stuhlbarg as the physics professor looking for answers to life’s eternal questions, Fred Melamed, Aaron Wolff, Adam Arkin, Richard Kind and many more bringing home a quirky tale that’s well told, such as it’s told.