The Lint Screen, Satire/Humor/Etc.

Category: Reviews

The good, the bad, the ugly– one man’s call.

  • “Bad Grandpa” Kind of Good

    Not your ordinary road trip movie.
    Not your ordinary road trip movie.

    I gave Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa my virgin eyes. Yes, it’s true–– I’d never been on the Jackass bus before. What can I say, I’m not an intellectual.

    Well, I had great expectations for this movie and it was an enjoyable enough ride. Some good laughs, nice cringe moments and awkwardness abounds.

    But what hurt the film was the story’s linear structure: the conceit of a narrative storyline of Irving Zisman (Johnny Knoxville) taking his eight year-old grandson, Billy (Jackson Nicoll) on a car ride from Nebraska to Raleigh so that the kid’s deadbeat dad can get the bounty of $600/month government dole.

    Yes, Knoxville and Nicoll can act and have great chemistry, but why have the artifice of them not knowing they’re both shills to unsuspecting bystanders and playing their characters in character against one another? It didn’t make any sense. Were they trying for poignant emotion in a movie where scrotal humor plays large?

    Having this artificial narrative played straight seemed odd. Perhaps the Jackass crew should consider the eternal wisdom of Conan O’Brien who keeps the following advice posted in his office: “Funny man, be funny.”

    Oh well, the movie’s making big bucks at the box office, so I’ll just keep my big gob shut.

  • Give Opie Some Attention

    Ron Howard delivers the goods in Rush
    Ron Howard delivers the goods in Rush

    Rush is one of the best movies of the year with one of the worst titles.

    No, it doesn’t have Tom Hanks-type big stars in the leading roles (Daniel Brühl and Chris Hemsworth aren’t exactly box office draws), but damn if this isn’t one fine film.

    Directed by Ron Howard (you may know him better as Opie Taylor or Richie Cunningham), Rush is the true story of the 1970’s Formula 1 rivalry between James Hunt and Niki Lauda. Hunt (Hemsworth) is the dashing playboy British driver and Lauda (Brühl) is the austere Austrian obsessed with engineering and winning. The story, acting and filmmaking are superb.

    Get in your car and drive like hell to the theatre and see this movie. It’s not getting its due at the box office and will be slipping off big screens soon.

    Go fast, go big, go now.

  • Rachel Strips For Laughs

    Oh, Rachel, have you stripped in vain?
    Oh, Rachel, what will Ross think?

    If you’ve seen the trailer for We’re The Millers, you’ve seen the best bits. There’s a couple more laughs in the full-length film, but not many. Which is a damn shame because the trailer is pretty funny, but it’s only a couple minutes long. The movie runs a flabby 110 minutes.

    This movie’s loaded with comedic talent: Jennifer Aniston, Jason Sudeikis, Nick Offerman, Will Poulter, Ed Helm, Kathryn Hahn, Ken Marino and on and on. But, it suffers the curse of a meandering script by four writers.

    Siskel & Ebert stated that more than two writers is usually a warning sign–– and I believe they nailed it. The script doesn’t live up to the talent or its full potential. Yet, we’re so starved for laughs, it’ll do good business and probably encourage a sequel:
    I Said, ‘We’re The Millers‘
    or We’re The Millers, Again.

    It’s Millers’ Time?

    It’s just too bad this particular movie isn’t better. I suspect that Ross, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey and Monica would have expected more for Rachel to prance about in her lacy things.

  • Leave The Lone Ranger Alone

    "Trick or treat!" Johnny Depp's an Indian this year.
    “Trick or treat!” Johnny Depp’s an Indian this year.

    Yes, I subjected myself to The Lone Ranger. Why? I didn’t think it could be as bad as it is. Stupid me.

    Weighing in at two-and-a-half hours and a $250 million cost, it’s a mess of a movie. This outing, Johnny Depp gets to dress up like an Indian (he’s done vampire, pirate, Willie Wonka, etc., he’s running out of costume ideas). Depp is Tonto and his side kick is Armie Hammer playing The Lone Ranger.

    There’s a story in here about good guys and bad guys and a railroad and lots of horse chases and runaway trains and people running and fighting and riding horses on top of trains and big explosions and well, you get the drift. It’s ACTION ADVENTURE!

    And it’s a yawn.

    Director Gore Verbinski (he of the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise) has extras chewing up scenery as he tries to amp it up to 11, but the movie just kind of lays there. Not even the William Tell Overture can save the day.

    That said, it’ll probably be a huge blockbuster with sequels and a major attraction soon to come to Disney properties.

    Woe is me.

  • Star Trek Stars Defy Time Space Continuum

    William Shatner gets better with age.
    William Shatner’s looks get better with age.

    What’s the deal with these “Star Trek” actors? They never seem to age. In fact, like fine wine, marshmallows and certain strains to sauerkraut, they just get better with age.

    Take William Shatner. Wait until you see him in this new movie Star Trek Into Darkness–– dude looks great. And Leonard Nimoy, well his ears haven’t lost their edges nor has he lost his legendary hunkiness. Plus, he’s still smart as the dickens and quick as a whip. He could vulcanize rubber for Goodyear.

    Sulu, Doc “Bones” McCoy, Scotty, Uhura, Chekov, why they all look phenomenal in this movie, I mean for actors who have to be pushing 90 or 100 years old. Whatever they’re doing in Hollywood–– the legal weed, macrobiotic seaweed diet with seltzer enemas, yoga organic antioxidant kelp-infused orgies, hair plugs with vitamin-enhanced roots–– it’s working.

    Why, these cats seem to be going back in age like some sort of Ponce de Leon party trick. Check out this movie and see for yourself.

    Oh, and this film takes place in the future somewhere in outer space. Maybe that explains the space ships that seem to play a central role in the plot. Could be space travel is the secret to turning back the hands of time, like old Alfred Eistein said in his theory of relatives and their activities.

  • One of The Year’s Best Movies Isn’t In Your Local Theatre

    Catch the fascinating tale of this caped crusader.
    Catch the fascinating tale of this caped crusader.

    It’s not on TV, either. It’s on HBO.

    The movie is Behind the Candelabra, the story of the rocky 6-year relationship between Liberace and his young lover, Scott Thorson.

    Michael Douglas is incredible as the caped crusader, as is Matt Damon playing his prudish (by Liberace’s standards) boyfriend. Steven Soderbergh directed this perfect jeweled biopic, and he says the movie may be his last. Let’s hope not, the guy is a gifted filmmaker.

    The story is your typical boy meets boy tale, boy gets boy, boy gets bored by boy, boy finds new boy and chucks old boy to the side and then that boy tries suing his old boy into oblivion. I’ll say no more.

    It’s a fascinating account of Liberace, a talented performer who was Mr. show business but lived sequestered in the closet and struggled to be who he was. It’s a tragic tale with memorable performances by Dan Aykroyd as Liberace’s agent and fixer, Scott Bakula as a hanger-on with the drugs, Rob Lowe as the creepy plastic surgeon who was also Dr. feelgood and sweet Debbie Reynolds as the piano player’s overbearing mother.

    Check this film out and see some performances for the ages. It’s further proof that sometimes the best movies are simple human stories without a billion dollars of special effects.