The Lint Screen, Satire/Humor/Etc.

Tag: PD Scullin

  • The Second Pick In The Great Album Game

    The Second Pick In The Great Album Game

    darknessontheedgeoftown_albHe lost his money and he lost his wife, those things don’t seem to matter much to him now.

    While “Born To Run” was the album that made Springsteen a sensation (he was on the covers of TIME and NEWSWEEK, not too shabby), this one is my favorite one.

    It’s dark, bleak, brooding, introspective–– with glimmers of hope, optimism, and determination to carry on. It’s a young man struggling to find his way (don’t we all?).

    When he toured for this album, I somehow wrangled my way into working security for the show at The Richfield Coliseum in Cleveland. I then talked my way away from the duty of inspecting women purses to being a security guard guarding the seats behind the stage and making sure no one sat in them.

    I did my bouncer duty before the show, then plopped my ass in a seat to the side of the stage. I then enjoyed an incredible four-hour show.

    The songs on this album are all emotional lightning rods. They strike to the dark places within, the yearning that’s hungry to be satisfied.

    Years later, Bruce would confess he deals with depression issues. He does so through his music. This album is a prime example. It’s therapeutic, cathartic. As The Boss bleeds, strap into your car and enjoy this emotional roller coaster ride (please keep your arms inside the car for safety’s sake).

    Here he is performing the title track at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland.

    Enjoy.

  • Forget Politics–– Let’s Discuss Music, Shall We?

    Forget Politics–– Let’s Discuss Music, Shall We?

    I think this band will be pretty big if only they would get haircuts.

    I was recently invited on a social media platform called “Facebook” (why not just call it “Cover”–– that’s what the face of a book is!) to participate in a game of selecting ten albums that are important to you.

    This seemed an innocuous enough task, and I suppose it is if you just make your ten picks, sit down and shut up.

    I didn’t. I obsessed and went down rabbit holes of research and traveled down memory lanes I hadn’t visited in ages. It starts innocently enough, but then–– you’ll see.

    It ended up being a time-consuming but enrichening process. They will be shared in ten separate posts.

    They are not in an order of preference, that would be silly and way too difficult. Enjoy and feel free to give your two cents.

    Here’s day one. Beatlemania was in full swing, the boys rocked Ed Sullivan and owned the airwaves. Then, in 1964, they made a movie about living in the madness of pop stardom. In a beautiful black and white film, we followed the lads as they smoked cigarettes, were chased by mobs of girls, and played rock songs with more hooks than a Bass Pro Shop to adoring fans. What boy didn’t want to be a Beatle? I was all in on the devil’s music. Where are the old man’s smokes?

  • Trump Wants “Very Tough Prosecution” For Individual 1

    Trump Wants “Very Tough Prosecution” For Individual 1

    The prez demands justice and will pout until he gets it!

    Donald J. Trump is a man who deeply believes in justice and the rule of law. He came by The Lint Screen offices to discuss his views.

    “I’m someone who wants to right wrongs,” the president said. “Last week’s testimony from Cohen was nothing but a bunch of lies. Cohen should go to prison for a very, very long time. But if there is any proof that this ‘Individual 1’ does actually exist, then we should find out who it is. I have instructed my Attorney General Matt Whitaker that I want very tough prosecution of this Individual 1. We can’t have someone like that running around.”

    Trump said he believes laws are sacred and must be enforced.

    “If someone steps outside of the law, that person should be prosecuted. But if that person demonstrates loyalty, then I have the right to pardon him. That is justice because nothing is more important than loyalty.”

    The big guy is not a fan of Bob Mueller.

    “Mueller and his band of angry Democrats are wasting taxpayer money bribing people like Cohen to tell lies. He is a weak man. Very weak. But if Cohen is actually lying to protect this mysterious Individual 1, then let’s find out who that person is. He sounds like one bad hombre. It’s my job to protect America, and no one has ever done it better. But I suspect Individual 1 is probably a lie because Mueller is on the biggest witch hunt in history. He needs to be shut down fast. No collusion, no climate change, no MBS murdering journalists!“

  • Troops Deployed From Border To Forests

    Troops Deployed From Border To Forests

    Troops plan their new assignment–– westward, ho!

    President Trump sure knows how to be commander-in-chief!

    After deploying over 5,000 troops to the southern United States border for protection against the horrendously dangerous caravan, the Big Fella made an executive decision to send the soldiers out west and is putting them on clean-up duty instead.

    “The president wants to stop all the western forest fires,” White House spokeswoman Amy Kunderew told The Lint Screen. “All these horrible fires are ravaging the land because the forest floors haven’t been cleaned in years. They’re disgraceful. Filfthy! We’ve become a laughingstock in Finland. So the president is being very presidential by ordering troops to take corrective cleaning action. They will be armed with Dyson vacuum cleaners and given the assignment of cleaning forest floors.”

    When asked if this move was another craven publicity stunt by the president using the military, Kunderew scoffed.

    “Absolutely not. President Trump has the highest regard for U.S. troops. Unless of course, if it’s raining. He used our troops and protected millions of innocent Americans from the deadly caravan that was moving very fast and then after the midterms slowed to a crawl for some mysterious reason. But now our leader wants to protect Americans by having the troops execute their new duty of cleaning the forest floors. We’re even airlifting-in Swiffers and feather dusters! President Trump is taking this action even if it benefits liberals. He is that kind of a president! He only thinks of others, never himself.”

  • Florida Dems Disclose Their Secret to Winning Elections

    Florida Dems Disclose Their Secret to Winning Elections

    This tool helps Democrats vote many, many times in Florida elections

    Our nation is decidedly behind glorious leader Donald J. Trump and his agenda for making America great again. The red wave in the midterm elections proves it!

    Yet, the cheating Democrats won’t surrender.

    Using the same tactics the looney liberals deployed in cheating President Trump of the popular vote in 2016, the sly Dems used voter disguises to cast repeated votes for socialists hellbent on bringing our nation to its knees.

    “We had to cheat,” Larry Turboten, a Democratic Party strategist in Florida told The Lint Screen. “If the elections were fair, the GOP candidates would win 98-99% of the popular vote. People love Trump and his crew of enabling toadies. I suspect they’d walk over red-hot coals to vote for the GOP. Democrats know that, so we do whatever it takes to win.”

    Turboten chortled menacingly, lit a marijuana cigarette, then an Amerian flag, and kicked cute helpless infants across the room.

    “We used millions of illegal immigrant voters,” the lib huckster crowed, “just like we did when Hillary ran. Once the illegals cast their votes, they’d run outside and change their shirts or shoes, put on a hat, a disguise, different cologne, whatever–– and they’d keep coming back again and again and vote the Dem-o-crap ticket. Of course, pollsters couldn’t keep up with our evil deviousness. We hoodwinked the entire electoral system by being conniving cheaters. Hey, that’s what Democrats do best!”

    Turboten then began ripping pages out of the Bible and fed them into a paper shredder while he prayed to Allah.

    Shame, shame, shame!

  • Trump Blames God For World Problems

    Trump Blames God For World Problems

    The Big Guy gives heat to The Big Guy

    The president made it clear today he doesn’t care how powerful you are–– if you refuse his “embrace” you are in serious trouble.

    Today Donald Trump called The Lint Screen and began an epic rampage against God The Almighty.

    “Look, I like God,” Trump said. “He’s a good guy, good work ethic. Did some amazing things in just seven days. Tremendous things–– light, water, animals, people, apple trees, cable TV. But lately, He has not been so good to me.”

    Trump is upset the diety seemingly is making his life difficult.

    “I went to France,” the president said. “I wanted to honor the people who died in wars. They’re what I call soldiers. Many people don’t know that I coined the term “soldiers.” Anyway, I wanted to go and honor the soldiers who died in World War I. That was a big war. A very big war. It was like the whole world was at war. But I couldn’t go to the World War I ceremony because God made it rain. Incredible rain. Very dangerous rain. The kind that makes people wet rain. Why had God forsaken me? What did I ever do to God? I love God, and this is how He pays me back? Not good, God. Not good at all, let me tell you.”

    Trump continued his rant.

    “Meanwhile, California has wildfires. Awful fires. But does God give California rain? No. But, maybe it’s California’s fault because they did not support me in the election. A very blue state. So, maybe God is paying them back. Maybe God isn’t such a bad guy. We’ll see. We’ll see. God, if You’re listening, it’s not too late to accept the embrace. The embrace is good. The embrace can do miracles, believe me. Take the Trump embrace. And call off Mueller’s witch hunt.“