Chelsea’s Shindig


The happy loving couple done got hitched real good!
I suppose it was kind of a big deal to be one of “Triple-A” guests invited to attend Chelsea Clinton’s fab $3 million wedding to Marc Mezvinsky, but if you’re invited you can’t exactly give the ol’ ‘hi-hat’, especially if you’re an F.O.B. and F.O.H.

So, off to Rhinebeck, New York we went.

For a wedding gift, we weren’t sure where the couple was registered so we went with the failsafe gift every newlywed couple needs and loves: an Oster Waffle Iron. As an added bonus, we gave a mouse pad with a cute illustration of a pelican and the clever saying “Who wants fish for supper? I do!”

Cute, meet practical! You just can’t go wrong with the classics.

Here are seven observations about the Clinton affair, er, Clinton daughter wedding.

1. The ceremony was beautiful. The happy couple exchanged vows that included some lyrics from Air Supply songs, Dr. Phil books and helpful tips from Chilton Auto Repair Manuals.

2. Some of the guests in attendance were surprising: Mike Score from Flock of Seagulls, Burt Reynolds, Mary Cheney, Jack Klugman, Eminem, The San Diego Chicken, Marion Barry, James Gandolfini, Paula Dean, Sarah Palin, Tina Fey playing Sarah Palin, Jon “Bowzer” Bauman from Sha Na Na, Donald Sutherland, Seve Ballesteros and Ron Popeil.

3. I think $3 million would get you better fare than rigatoni and meatballs, tossed salad, green beans and steamship round beef with mini rolls. The Pepperidge Farm cookies were a nice touch though.

4. Having a cash bar seemed a little tight-fisted also. I suppose most of the $3 million went into wedding planning. Those people are pricey.

5. The cake was magnificent; I’m thinking Duncan Hines at the least. Only problem was that the decorator couldn’t spell and wrote Congradulations instead of Happy Wedding Day, Y’all!”

6. It may have been the wildest hokey-pokey and chicken dances I’ve ever seen. That Bill Clinton can cut him some rug, and Hillary doing the limbo– classic!

7. A good time was had by all, except Ron Popeil. Apparently he wasn’t the only one giving a Showtime Rotisserie for a wedding gift.


8 responses to “Chelsea’s Shindig”

  1. I understand Bill’s brother, Roger, was there. Did he behave himself? Or did he splurge at the cash bar?

    A couple other things I was wondering. Did Bill mention anything about Haitian relief? Maybe how the $3 million spent on the wedding should have been spent to build a few hospitals or feed a few hundred people, perhaps even a few thousand of them?

    As for Hillary, how long did she stick around the nuptial festivities?

    Not long, I hope, because in her job as Secretary of State, you’d think she’d want to jet off to various places around the world, possibly bringing presidents, premiers and dictators angry with the US about this or that freshly cut slices of Chelsea’s wedding cake as a gesture of peace and goodwill.

    P.S. Great wedding gifts, especially the mouse pad. All newlyweds need to start their lives together with the basics.

  2. To Curious Curvin:
    Roger was the perfect gentleman, in fact, he was the first to perform a keg stand and did so many Jell-O shooters his gut was jiggling.

    Bill did not discuss the financial matters or Haiti, but he did talk a lot about “Petticoat Junction” and how it always irked him the slowness with which Uncle Joe moved “at the Junction.” I think Bill may have been over-served.

    Yes, I believe you’re correct that Hillary was taking some cake slices to world leaders. I saw her packing a wicker basket with many slices of cake. World peace should follow shortly.

    As for the mouse pad, well, you just can’t have too many cute mouse pads.

  3. Mr Bill– the only keepsake I took was the official wedding spork. It was really heavy plastic so was made to last. Think I’ll keep it as my official tin o’ beans spork.

  4. Late comment, Patrick.

    According to the NY Times, the Clintons were able to impose a “no-fly zone” over the wedding site.

    I was wondering how they planned on enforcing it. Stinger missiles? Jet fighters scrambled out of Stewart AFB not far from Rhinebeck?

    Meanwhile, the Palin family has canceled all planning for Bristol’s engagement/upcoming nuptials because Levi, her intended, has proven himself to be a putz by supposedly impregnating one of Bristol’s friends. What a guy!

    Last summer, when Palin gave her rambling resignation speech, she tried to put a stop to all the malicious talk about her family by saying, “How about, in honor of the American soldier, you stop making things up?”

    Well, nobody has to make things up. Stuff just happens.

  5. Yes, there was a ‘no fly’ zone at the Chelsea affair, and with a cash bar not many attending were flying too high.

    As for Levi, that rascal do like the ladies and apparently has a hard time keeping his Levi’s buttoned.

    Poor Bristol. Not to worry, though– Mama Grizzly will protect her cub!

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