Now that Sarah Palin has officially announced she’s on Team Trump, The Lint Screen has learned that all presidential candidates are making serious pushes to secure an endorsement from Joe The Plumber.

“Joe’s support is crucial for the next person to occupy the White House,” said “Bugsy” Woolcott, a top political consultant as he lit a Cuban cigar with a burning $100 bill. “This is not a Republican or Democrat issue, it doesn’t matter who wins, that person is going to need a good plumber. The White House is older than dirt and clogs are common. The next president is going to need a man who knows how to snake a drain more than a strong economic policy adviser or foreign policy maker. As the old adage goes, ‘you can’t fake plumbing’.”

Joe the Plumber has been coy about showing support for anyone just yet, but candidates from both parties are scheduling sit-downs with the king maker.

One thing is certain: whoever sits on the throne next is going to need Joe the Plumber in his/her corner, or suffer the consequences.