A man who claims he knows Tiger very, very well and swears that he is not a liar, reports that the megastar golfer is frustrated with both his golf game and his love life. “When Tiger was married, he had ladies stashed all over the tour and his golf game was never better. Now, he’s divorced, been trying to be a good two-shoes and having troubles on the course. So, Tiger’s decided to start trying to remember which extracurricular woman he was with at which tournament–– because obviously she was his ‘lucky lady’ and that will help him to find his golfing groove. If he can just get back into his old routine, he’s confident he can get back into his winning ways and his march towards the record books as the greatest golfer ever, if not the greatest lovin’ golfer ever!”
When asked about Tiger’s swing, the confidant became agitated. “Of course Tiger swings. What, have you been in a cave the past year?! Cripes a-loo, you must be an idiot!”
Journalists are not uncaring robots. This reporter wept silently and walked away.
6 responses to “Single Tiger On Prowl for “Lucky Ladies””
I predict two things. One, all of Tiger’s Lucky Ladies will show up at a single tournament. Two, his scores will plummet so much that the USGA will write a new rule outlawing his evening activities.
You obviously know your golf, Mr. O’Rielly. Thanks for the very astute predictions.
According to an article in last week’s issue of The New Yorker, a Japanese golfer by the name of Hirofumi Miyase plays the game with yellow balls. This is not a racist comment, by the way, but merely an odd statement of fact that you may want to file away for when conversation in the office lags or for when you head off to Augusta National where they take golf really, really seriously.
Interesting. I suspect the PGA would not allow any color but white golf balls so as not to clash with loud plaid slacks.
It’s possible that those many weeks of treatment cured Tiger of his addiction. If so, he’s doomed to wander in the rough of life, looking for his lost balls.
Guess it always comes back to Tiger’s balls…