Humor

Various things designed to get you to expel air in an unplanned manner while showing more teeth than you usually do.

Garfield Not to Publish Mohammed Comics

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The world’s most popular cartoon cat, Garfield, will not feature the prophet Mohammed in upcoming comic strips as planned following the tragic slaying of twelve people by religious zealot kooks who can’t take a joke. “After what happened in the Paris offices of satirical magazine ‘Charlie Hebdo’, we just didn’t think it was a good … Read more

Ironic Comment Leads to Restaurant Tragedy

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Chez Yummi in Burlington, Vermont is the sort of food joint locals love, but yesterday, instead of serving hot plates of deliciousness, cold tragedy was served. And it was yucky! (Note to The Pulitzer Prize Selection Committee: The Lint Screen’s writing is lean and muscular!) Restaurant patron Fred Vownem was with his wife, Margaret. He … Read more

Opponent Calls Obama “Weak on Poultry”

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As he enters the last quarter of what some opponents call his “reign of terror”, President Barack Obama now draws intense criticism for his pardoning of two 48-pound turkeys from Ohio named Mac and Cheese. Although the presidential pardoning of turkeys is a tradition dating back to George H.W. Bush in 1989, Rep. Willie Gromorp … Read more

Surprising Details of Manson Nuptials

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Convicted mass murderer Charles Manson will soon be walking the last mile to the altar when he marries Afton Elaine Burton, a 26-year-old Midwesterner who has tried for nine years to exonerate him. The couple plans to marry in February and have released some surprising details about their upcoming wedding. — The couple’s request to … Read more