-
Veep Proclaims Victory Over Coronavirus, “Americans Are Saved!”
The other day, our mighty president gave a commanding press conference about the threat America faced in the global coronavirus epidemic. Being a great leader, he delegated responsibility for battling the coronavirus to his vice president Mike Pence, the Robin to his Batman. Pence called The Lint Screen today and proclaimed victory! “America is safe,…
-
Trump Announces Major Offensive Against Danger of Coronavirus Pandemic
Some leaders wait for dangers to strike before they take action, and some plan a move ahead and make smart preparations. President Donald Trump is like a master chessplayer–– always thinking one, two, even eighty-eight moves ahead! He is not waiting for the coronavirus to officially become a dangerous pandemic, so he has dispatched the…
-
Trump Furious At Intelligence Agencies For “Treasonous Behavior”
Taxpayers shell out $81 billion-a-year for intelligence services, and according to President Donald Trump, “It’s a big fat waste of money–– all they do is report lies and misinformation. It’s treasonous behavior.” Trump is on the warpath after finding out intelligence officials made a report to the House Intelligence Committee that included Democrat Adam Schiff.…
-
Stone Is Standing By For His Presidential Pardon
Roger Stone, the grand Trump trickster, was slapped with a 40-month sentence for being found guilty of seven counts of ‘very bad boy behavior.’ The recommended sentence by federal prosecutors for Stone was 7-9 years. That was before Donald Trump had a twitter-rage and pout-fest about the unfairness of it all. “Hell,” Stone told The…
-
Dictator Don Unveils His Enemies List (We’re On It)
Senators Susan Collins, Lamar Alexander, and Lisa Murkowski did not vote for impeachment in the trial of President Trump because they believe he had learned his lesson and would straighten up and fly right. The ‘bad boy’ would obey the rule of law. Silly senators! Yesterday, Trump unleashed his fury by cutting the ribbon on…
-
Barr Revels In His Role As Trump’s Henchman
Billy Boy Barr, the so-called Attorney General of the United States, is one happy camper these days. “The bossman says I’m doing a tremendous job, a fantastic job,” Barr says, puffing his chubby cheeks like a ravenous squirrel at an all-you-can-eat acorn buffet. “Getting some sugar from the big chief himself tickles me pink.” Trump…