There was a President Trump rally last night at Omaha’s Eppley Airfield, and his MAGA maniacs came to show their support and hear his tales of victimhood.

After the president spewed his endless stream of lies and grievances, he hopped on the toasty warm Air Force One and flew the coop. The masses were left in the freezing cold waiting for transportation back to their cars parked in remote lots.

“I thought since I got a bus ride out to the rally, I’d have a bus ride back,” Aggie Thomplim, an unemployed factory worker age 48, said. “But there weren’t many buses going back. I got some frostbite. Lost a couple toes and a finger–– it was just a pinkie, though, but I’m so happy I came. That Donald Trump is a big TV star! He’s so handsome!”

Bobbie Kinsley, a 74-year-old retired appliance repairman with a bum hip, said, “Boy howdy, it was bitter cold. I got tired of waiting for a bus, so I walked back to my car on the dark road with a bunch of other people. The weak ones fell by the wayside. Took me three hours of hoofing in the stinging cold to get to my car, but it made me stronger. Thanks, President Trump, for making America great again.”

Helen Gurdy, age 34, and her two children, Brett, age six, Jackie, age four, were also in attendance.

“Sure, the one-way transportation was a bit of an inconvenience,” she said, “but sometimes things just don’t work out like you want them to. Look at COVID. George Soros, Bill Gates, and Anthony Fauci created that disease and gave it to China to make Trump look bad. But Trump cares about people, and tonight he said we’re turning the corner. So I guess he had the last laugh.”

The mother’s eyes get teary as she continues.

“Last week, my mother died from COVID. She was all alone in the hospital. It was awfully sad. I’ll never forgive those liberals for killing her. Thank God we got Trump protecting us.”

She wipes a tear and shakes a fist.

“And don’t go telling me I have to wear a mask!” she says. “I got my freedom. And I’ll cough wherever the hell I want.”

Helen’s son, Brett, begins a hacking cough, and Jackie complains she feels hot. The mother gets agitated.

“For Chrissake, kids, don’t be wimps,” she snaps. “We were only in the freezing cold for a few hours. You got to see a great man! That’s a small price to pay.”

This morning, both her children were rushed to the hospital with pneumonia.

“Thank goodness we got Obamacare,” Helen said. “But, I can’t wait to see how good Trumpcare‘s going to be.”

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