They believe whatever he tells them, and President Donald Trump for months has been telling his rubes if he somehow lost the election it “would be because it’s rigged.”
And like gullible suckers who believe in magic beans, they bought it. Hook, line, and sinker.
These “patriots” worried that the radical Joe Biden will destroy the beautiful utopian America Donald Trump has built, so they stormed the United States Capitol and trashed it.
“Oh, we did awful good,” Bucky Philips of Troy, Michigan tells The Lint Screen. “I think we made the president proud of his proud boys. He’s the law and order president and we brought law and order into the Capitol. We can’t allow Biden to get into office and cause anarchy. He’ll wreck the economy and won’t do a good job controlling the COVID like President Trump.“
“Biden cheated Trump out of the election,” Sheila Jackson of Salisbury, North Carolina says. “The president said he won in a landslide. Won all 50 states–– won them big. Trump don’t lie, he don’t have to, he’s the president! I read on Facebook the Chinese worked with Hugo Chavez, Alex Trebek, and Fidel Castro to rig the election for Biden. That just isn’t right, and we’re not going to stand for it.”
Cal Burson of Selma, Alabama thinks Donald Trump is God. “When he held up that bible in front of the church, I swear it sent chills up my damn spine,” Burson says. “Trump’s like Jesus his own self. And one dark night after drinking some liquor and smoking some oregano, he came to me in a dream and said the only way to save democracy is to destroy stuff in the Capitol and wave Confederate and Trump flags. When Jesus talks to you, you better believe I’m going to obey.”
Francine Kensley of Franklin Tennessee says she was persuaded to storm the Capitol by the president’s son Don Jr. “That guy is so dreamy,” she says with stars in her eyes. “I’d do whatever he tells me to. I just want to kiss him on the lips. He’s going to be our next president after his daddy. Then Ivanka, then Eric. The Trumps are our royal family.”
All these MAGA people say they ransacked the Capitol in order to protect our democracy.
“Thank God for good Christian patriots like Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley who bleed red, white, and blue,” Amy Catchly from Springfield, Missouri says. “They’re looking out for folks like us and not their own political future.”
“We can’t have elections that aren’t fair,” says Tim Kincaid of Helen, Georgia. “Had Trump won, then we’d know the election was fair. But since he didn’t, we can be a hundred percent certain it was rigged. And we can’t stand for that. Trump’s never lost anything, he was on TV and everything.”
Jim Tarony displays a Swingline stapler he stole from Nancy Pelosi’s office. “I got me some spoils of war,” he declares. “Can’t wait to staple me some papers.”
Ken Spindle scoffs when asked about criticism of their blatant vandalism. “Hey, maybe it wan’t Trumpers but was Antifa dressed like Trumpers. Ever think of that?”
No. No we didn’t think of that.
———————————————————————————————-
Enjoy PD Scullin’s debut novel “SAWDUST: Love is wilder than a circus,” a humorous romp across America with a circus in the early ’80s. You’re a click away from a helluva fun ride. Buckle up and go.
43 responses to “Trump’s Lemmings Rampage Capitol To Rescue America From Biden’s Carnage”
[…] Trump’s army of lunatics invaded the Capitol building as it was in the process of declaring Joe Biden the next president of the United States. Pence’s role was supervising the Senate as it officially declared Biden the winner of the Electoral College: 306 votes to Trump’s 232 votes. […]
[…] had my mob of white terrorists ransack the Capitol.” Trump said, smiling smugly. “People died. Can you imagine the powerful feeling that […]
[…] DT: Everyone says that, Kevin. They say Mar A Lago is very tasteful. Very refined. Very swanky. Now, don’t try and butter my bread. I heard what you said about me having a part in that little misunderstanding on January 6. […]
[…] Trump back in office to stop this hoax pandemic and make our country great again. That’s all the patriots were trying to do on January 6–– to bring our country back together again under the excellent leadership of Trump. And the […]
[…] the truth. Thank God we have QAnon and Marjorie Taylor Greene not afraid to tell it like it is. And we blessed to have patriots like The Proud Boys to storm the Capitol and hunt down […]
[…] Yesterday I was in that magnificent building many call the United States Capitol, and I presented my airtight argument for why Donald J. Trump should NOT be convicted of impeachment. […]
[…] impeachment is a total witch hunt,” van der Veen said. “The Democrats say Trump incited an insurrection when we all know the president told the crowd to go peacefully. Like Jesus Christ, Donald J. Trump […]
[…] The unhinged looney spun his ridiculous conspiracy theories yesterday at the first public Senate hearing on the Capitol attack on January 6. […]
[…] Rep. Matt Gatez told The Lint Screen the insurrection on January 6 at the U.S. Capital was the direct result of Ted Cruz’s twelve and ten-year-old […]
[…] proclaims, “we even backed him on his recent bullshit election fraud cases. And we encouraged the murderous rampage ransacking of the U.S. Capitol. Whatever it takes, we got the president’s backside. People like me, we’re complicit […]
[…] winning all fifty states, and I was cheated by Biden, who is not the legal president. I am! And what happened on January 6 was a violent charade posed by Antifa and anti-Trump forces posing as my people. It’s […]
[…] to say those poor people weren’t simply confused about the start time of The Capitol tours? I think that may have been what happened. The FBI should […]
[…] candidate protest riot with PROUD BOYS displaying MAGA and TRUMP Flags… […]
[…] wasn’t afraid at all on January sixth,” the Republican senator said. “The people who went to the Capitol were patriots who were just angry about President Trump getting cheated out of his second term. I’m angry […]
[…] liberals have a lot of nerve,” the svelte ex-prez says. “The people who stormed the Capitol were patriots. They were demanding free and fair elections. They know I won in a landslide, all fifty states, and […]
[…] hear you. Well, little girl, patriotic Americans refused to let Biden steal the election from me, so they went to the Capitol to discuss it with the weak politicians. And what did the fake news media do? They made these MAGA patriots look like white supremacist […]
[…] But Biden somehow won. Sleepy Joe’s crooked, and I was cheated out of re-election. I had MAGA patriots who tried to right the wrong, they wanted justice, but the stupid Capitol cops shut them down. Now […]
[…] the disgraced twice-impeached ex-president is telling his rabid cult base of gullible loonies to boycott […]
[…] patriots who rallied on behalf of President Trump on January 6 at the U.S. Capitol shouldn’t be arrested. They should be commended,” DeSantis claims. […]
[…] “That Cheney woman is cancer on America’s soul. She keeps telling her lies and saying the January 6 get-together was a bad thing. That’s outrageous! How can she find fault with the patriots wanting to right […]
[…] began spreading bullshit everywhere. Rep. Andrew Clyde from Georgia told a Congressional hearing on the January 6 insurrection on the Capitol Building, “It wasn’t an insurrection. Heck, if I didn’t know better, I would have thought […]
[…] says he is unaware of the insurrection and attempted coup in the Capitol Building on January 6 by manic supporters of disgraced twice-impeached President Donald J. […]
[…] Honest Abe was especially incensed as he witnessed the Capitol insurrection on January 6th. […]
[…] Russia’s President Vladimir Putin says, “The United States should allow freedom of expression” and drop all charges against the hundreds of looney Trump loyalists who invaded the Capitol Building on January 6. […]
[…] Today Mitch told The Lint Screen he is advising his GOP senators to vote against a bipartisan committee to investigate the insurrection on the Capitol Building on January 6 by a rabid mob of looney Trumpers. […]
[…] General said he wants to know more about the January 6 Capitol tour,” Gaetz says. “What’s there to know? We had some visitors, and they wanted to […]
[…] glad I was able to save America and democracy. And aside from that little hiccup of the Capitol skirmish on January 6, I think it was a soft landing, thanks to […]
[…] what the hell is? For pity’s sake, the Capitol is called the people’s house, and the people were coming home to right the wrong of election results they didn’t like. That there is democracy in […]
[…] when a mob of lunatic Trumpers stormed the Capitol Building. Their sore loser man-child god claimed Biden stole the election from him and commanded his goons […]
[…] V.P. still worships his ex-boss, disgraced, twice-impeached ex-President Donald Trump. Even after Trump’s looney tunes, maniac supporters wanted to kill Pence for certifying the election on January […]
[…] hunts,” the Republican lawmaker crowed. “They’re trying to illegally prosecute the good folks involved with the January 6 liberation when we should be building them a glorious […]
[…] and because of their outrageous recklessness in stealing our American presidential election, patriots like the ones on January 6th had to take decisive action. Good people were forced to storm The Capitol and beat the crap out of […]
[…] got the MAGA crowd very angry. The unfair Committee makes it sound like I was a sore loser and wanted people to overturn the government. Why would I do that? I was already the President and had just won re-election by a landslide. […]
[…] with citizens’ lives. Feds are making us pay taxes, arresting MAGA patriots for storming The Capitol, and beating cops because they don’t like election results. They also want to prosecute adult men for sex […]
[…] Kevin McCarthy gave Russian propagandist Tucker Carlson over 41,000 hours of video from the January 6, 2001 insurrection/coup attempt, and now all hell is breaking […]
[…] Over the weekend, Former Vice President and milquetoast Sears mannequin Mike Pence discovered he had a pair between his legs. Finally, he spoke out about the attempted coup and insurrection on January 6, 2021. […]
[…] “And let’s not forget about Hunter’s laptop,” says Rep. Jim Jordan. “That is also a great danger to every American child and adult. The GOP has always stood for law and order, except when it applies to us. Then, screw it; all bets are off–– beat the cops and crap on the floors of Congress. We must protect the patriots and keep Trump in office!!!“ […]
[…] again,” Trump says. “I will get revenge on all those who doubted me. We’ll free the January 6 patriots and start extracting justice and […]
[…] and organs. Do whatever it takes to get the money I need because I need many more patriots than those who showed their support on January 6. Because this time, it’s for real, and it’s what God wants. He told me. We’re […]
[…] because he is ruining our country. I beat Biden by over six trillion votes, fair and square. And true American patriots got so angry they revolted and stormed the Capitol. I love them. When I get back in office, […]
[…] on Wednesday, November 11th, officiated by the QAnon Shaman, who presided over the House on January 6, 2021, during the failed coup attempt of the disgraced twice-impeached, convicted fraud ex-President Donald J. […]
[…] weeks after disgraced twice-impeached, four times indicted and facing 91 felony counts, ex-President Donald J. Trump’s failed coup attempt on January 6, 2020, Speaker of The House Kevin McCarthy donned a halo and flew to […]
[…] got the receipts. And we’re going to impeach ol’ Joe. You just wait and see. And then Donald J. Trump can get back into the Oval Office where he […]