President Donald J. Trump’s firstborn son Don Jr. is known for being a straight shooter, and he has the presidential 2020 election in his crosshairs.
“That thing was a complete travesty of justice,” Donald Trump Jr. told The Lint Screen. “Joe Biden is a dirty cheater. He used dead people and aliens from outer space to rig the election in his favor.”
The bearded boy is steaming because his “Pops” is losing the election thanks to Biden’s crooked trick of using vote counting.
“Biden has these people working in secret rooms counting votes,” Junior said. “They use calculators and add numbers that make it look like he’s winning. It’s just not fair.”
He strokes his close-cropped beard and continues ranting.
“Can you imagine? Biden dug up graves, opened coffins, and had dead people sign pre-printed ballots voting for him,” Donnie boy said, shaking his head. “Then, he sent a signal into outer space and had aliens land on Earth. He gave them stacks of ballots from all 50 states–– ballots that were already filled out for Joe Biden. The aliens signed them, and Biden stuffed the ballot boxes, making it look like humans were voting for him.”
The door flung open, and a manic Rudy Giuliani charged in and reported he had found another Hunter Biden laptop.
“It was in a Greyhound station in Buffalo,” the wide-eyed lawyer barks. “I have evidence that Hunter Biden has been planning to rig the election for his daddy for years. He got dogs and cats to fill out ballots for Biden. He gave them delicious treats. He also had Chinese children filling out ballots for him. The whole election is a cheat!”
Don Jr. nods and smiles.
“We got him,” he said, smiling. “Thanks, Rudy, for getting to the bottom of this. Given all this new evidence, we have to tell the world the truth–– Donald J. Trump has been re-elected!”
“And that’s not all,” Rudy said, with eyes bugging. “There is no pandemic! It’s a big hoax. And even if there actually is one, it’s going to disappear soon.”
The two men leave the room, warriors of justice for the preservation of the American way.
All hail, “Pops“–– our glorious leader once more!
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21 responses to ““Biden Had Dead People And Space Aliens Vote,” Declares Don Jr.”
[…] DT: Biden cheated me. […]
[…] she says, “it’s insulting to have a hoodlum like Joe Biden and his crime family cheat him out of the election. An election everyone knows he won fair and […]
[…] won in a landslide,” the least-liked-by-his-father Trump son said. “The Democrats robbed him blind, and we want […]
[…] Jared and Ivanka are “all in” on Team Trump, they are making plans should Joe Biden, Hugo Chavez, Brian Kemp, and The Harlem Globetrotters cheat Donald J. Trump out of his second term […]
[…] Blayburg complained for another forty minutes, but you get the drift. Kids are outraged our president was cheated out of an election he won fair and square. […]
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[…] That mean socialist Joe Biden cheated President Trump out of his re-election,” she dabbed her baby blues with tissues, sopping […]
[…] better than any party Washington has ever seen,” Ivanka said. “Daddy deserves it since that mean Joe Biden stole the election from him. Daddy won in a landslide, he told me he won when I sat on his lap for six hours on election […]
[…] by George Soros, Dr. Fauci, and Tom Hanks,” Greene preached. “The critter connived and cheated Donald J. Trump his rightful place on the throne of the presidency. Trump was put here by God and that groundhog […]
[…] was definitely hinky. I mean, why would Donald Trump lie about winning by a landslide? He’s our president for crying out loud. If America can’t […]
[…] Kevin McCarthy, Kimberly Guilfoyle, Rep. Devin Nunes, Jon Voight, Rep. Matt Gaetz, the son of god, Donald Trump, Jr., and dozens of other soulless cretins who will bow and scrape for their […]
[…] Trump won the election, he won all fifty states, he told us so himself,” Dugan says. “Trump was cheated. So were David Perdue and Kelly Loeffler. These Democrat rascals stole the election, and they did […]
[…] endorsement of candidate by DONALD TRUMP, JR… […]
[…] recorded the entire incident on my iPhone,” Paul said. Here is a transcript of what Trump and his bearded son […]
[…] think we’ll make a mint, Pops!” Don Jr. says. “We’ll line up the sheep for the […]
[…] Trump says. “Give me your bank account and credit card numbers. With that information, we can stop the steal, and I can get back into office and continue doing my fantastic job of making America great again. I […]
[…] Gaetz says. “What’s there to know? We had some visitors, and they wanted to discover how Biden rigged our election, so they did some investigating, looked for the traitor Mike Pence, then went home. Enough of this […]
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[…] Kensley of Franklin Tennessee says she was persuaded to storm the Capitol by the president’s son Don Jr. “That guy is so dreamy,” she says with stars in her eyes. “I’d do whatever […]