This week, an attorney for disgraced twice-impeached ex-President Donald J. Trump made a startling claim to the judges in a federal appeals court when he said the president is immune from prosecution if he has been impeached by the House but not convicted by the Senate.

“If that’s the case,” said Trump’s lawyer, D. John Sauer, “the president can order a SEAL Team 6 to assassinate a political rival. I don’t see any legal issues there.”

Trump smiles when he hears this.

“This is a beautiful thing,” Trump says. “There are people, so many people, who should be worried when I get back in office. Because I will get revenge on anyone who was ever not so nice to me.”

The raging madman boasts he was sent to earth “To settle the score for the Big Man Upstairs.” Trump becomes excited.

“I am god,” he says. “Your human laws do not apply to me. And all those who do not bow or worship me must be punished. And I will do just that.”

Trump is asked if these presidential powers apply to Joe Biden. Can he order political enemies to be assassinated?

“Absolutely not,” Trump says dismissively. “The ‘kill anyone anytime’ law only applies if the president’s initials are DJT and that president is me. It’s different for us gods. Mortals like cheating Joe Biden don’t get the power.”

Atty. Sauer enters the room with a bowl of warm, sudsy water and a plush cashmere cloth.

“Please allow me to wash your feet, master,” he says, bending before the throne.

“Okay,” Trump says, kicking off his shoes. “Go ahead. My dogs are barking.”

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Enjoy PD Scullin’s debut novel “SAWDUST: Love is Wilder than a Circus,” a twisted, fun ride across America with a traveling circus in the early 1980s. Also available in audiobook. Buckle up and go.