Donald J. Trump was beat but he’s not beaten.
“Joe Biden and the Democrat Party are a disaster,” the disgraced ex-president told a flock of his MAGA zombies in Ohio recently. “The election this November is all mine. I expect 100% of the vote, and I’m sure I’ll get it. If not, there will be a bloodbath. A bigly bloodbath, horrible carnage. And it will not be a very nice thing, I can tell you that.”
His goon squad cheered, holding their pitchforks and shaking lighted torches in the bright spring daylight.
“I was the greatest president ever,” the madman continued. “It’s not even close. Lincoln was crap. He was treated like a king compared to how they treat me. No one has suffered more than I have. Not even Jesus Christ. He had it easy. One and done, rise, go to heaven. But me? I get crucified daily. It’s hell. Not a very nice place. No one’s ever seen anything like it. But I take all their persecution for you. I suffer so you don’t have to.”
The crowd went wild, tearing effigies of presidents to shreds, stomping on their remains.
“Now they expect me to pay $464 million to a lying woman I don’t even know,” Trump whined. “And although I’m one of the richest people in the world, I want your support to show your dedication and appreciation for all I do for you. I need everyone here to sell all your possessions. Sell your home, your children, cars––EVERYTHING––and send the money to me so I can pay off this awful extortion. It is very unfair, what’s happening to me, but I will take their evil and unjust persecution to protect you. Why do I do it? Because I love you. I do. I really do. You can take that to the bank, trust me.”
His cult members began chanting, “Yes, we will give you all, mein messiah.”
Trump turned to an aide. “Can you believe this shit? It’s incredible what these rubes will buy.” He smiled.
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Read PD Scullin’s debut novel “SAWDUST: Love is wilder than a circus,” a twisted, funny ride across America with a traveling circus in the early 1980s. Also available in audiobook. Buckle up and go.
“Vote Trump 2024, and live,” he said, thrusting his fist into the air. “Now let’s recite the Pledge of Allegiance to Trump.”
3 responses to ““It’s simple: vote for me or die in a bigly bloodbath,” says madman”
Trump’s real name is Drumpf, he’s German and was a big fan of Hitler. His father, also a Nazi, marched down Queens Blvd with the KKK in the late ‘20’s. They are both despicable! Don’t take my word for it,. Look it up. He makes fun of the handicapped, soldiers who were hurt in war ( tho he NEVER served) and anything A majority of people hold sacred. He’s not ever been a church-going believer . And his followers believe Everything he says. Why? Are they as bad as he is? I guess so. If this amoral, woman-hating asshole gets re-elected it’s all over!
History repeats itself, sadly. Thanks for reading and commenting.
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