On a recent trip to St. Augustine, Florida, The Lint Screen unearthed an amazing discovery at the Ripley’s Believe It Or Not Museum (believe it or not, that’s the name)–– lint art.
Check it out:
Beneath the eye-opening artwork, the description:
Lint is a wonderful medium, believe it.
Tea party members are flipping their wigs, and now Fox mega-broadcaster Sean Hannity is considering changing his hairstyle.
Hannity, the popular conservative Fox pundit, has had the same hairstyle for years, a part that is just to the left of the middle of his scalp. The hair has recently outraged many tea party members.
“Sean can talk the talk all he wants about conservative values, but his hair is sending a different message,” said C. Ramsey Toomsade, a tea party member in Richmond, Virginia. “His hair says he’s left of the middle, and I say that means he supports government entitlement programs, abortion, a nanny state, Islamic terrorism, stomping on the Bible with muddy boots and gun control. I think it’s high time Sean took his part to the right–– the far right, and showed if his true colors are red, white and blue!”
A spokesman for Hannity said the newsman is exploring hairstyle options. “Sean has a natural part, but we’ll see if maybe a perm or scalp surgery can move that part to the right. We don’t want to disappoint our audience!”
Yesterday, Apple’s leader Tim Cook headed a special news conference where the rock musician Elvis Costello performed.
Today, Apple stock is getting hammered on Wall Street.
“Elvis Costello was a mistake,” said a Goldman Sachs tech analyst. “Cook should have picked someone hip and hot, like I don’t know, maybe Steve Perry from Journey or who’s that lead singer of Kansas–– ol’ what’s his name.”
A Morgan Stanley analyst thought Miley Cyrus would have been a better choice. “She’s hot what with her twerking and all, and have you seen this new video she did for ‘Wrecking Ball’– man, Bruce Springsteen didn’t get naked or lick a sledgehammer when he did that song!”
At the news conference, apparently Apple also had some new product news.
Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!
The Man has been trying to put The Lint Screen down.
We’ve experienced lots of technical difficulties over the past couple weeks with our site hosted on GoDaddy servers. Now maybe GoDaddy was taking all that server space to stockpile the brainpower necessary to create its Super Bowl spots known for their intellectual stimulation (among other forms of stimulation). Whatever, it just wasn’t working so well for TLS.
Or, it could have been the NSA dropping the hammer on all sites related to clothes dryers and their accessories. Why? It’s the government–– don’t ask, don’t tell.
So we’ve switched servers to HostGator and it appears all systems are go. Sorry for any difficulties you might have experienced, please stay tuned as we ramp back up to our irregular and irresponsible postings.
Thanks.
The Management
Sticking It To The Man
PS: Here’s something from our archives you may have missed. Enjoy.
Waves of grief are gripping the globe at the news of the death of Flappy Wings Birdie-Boo, a beloved bird known, respected and revered for its ability to “fly in the sky, way up high.”
“The body was discovered this morning,” said Capt. Brian Ferriswheel of the Atlanta Police Department. “Until the autopsy report is completed, we cannot rule out fowl play.”
Calls into the morgue were met with equal parts anger and bitterness. “Leave me alone,” shouted an irate Kenneth Tiltawhirl, the county medical examiner, “I’m only one man and last time I checked I haven’t received a pay raise in seven years. And this morning, my toaster crapped out and I spilled coffee on these new off-white linen slacks. How you like them apples, mister smartypants?”
Meanwhile, many mourned the tragic news.
“Flappy Wings Birdie-Boo was a very popular birdie-poo,” said Rex The Talking Dog. “He had over 3,200 Facebook friends, over 460,000 followers on Twitter and a very robust Google+ account. It’s a real loss. Wish I could talk more, but I have to go to elocution class.”