DeSantis Not Worried–– “Florida Doesn’t Have Many Seniors”

Many people questioned the wisdom of Florida’s Governor Ron DeSantis’s decision to keep beaches, bars, and restaurants open during spring break during a global pandemic. Now, as the cases of COVID-19 and deaths begin to skyrocket nationwide, DeSantis still isn’t doing much about it. “I’m not all that worried,” the governor said. “Apparently this virus … Read more

‘My Pillow’ Dispatched to Front Lines of COVID-19 War

Donald J. Trump has declared himself “a wartime president,” and now he has proven he truly is just that! In a Rose Garden ceremony today, Michael J. Lindell, CEO of MyPillow Inc., sung the praises of his dear friend and our nation’s leader in the battle against the coronavirus COVID-19 and the battle for our nation’s … Read more

Falwell Says Students Who Die Will Be Flunked

Last week, Jerry Falwell Jr. partially reopened Liberty University, his evangelical boot camp. He commanded his students to return to campus and ignore “the brouhaha of the fake news media and its coronavirus scare.” “The crooked lamestream media is overblowing this fake pandemic,” Falwell told The Lint Screen, “It’s just another attempt by liberal God-hating … Read more

Trump Signs Executive Order Prohibiting COVID-19

President Donald J. Trump has a golden gut. He felt the global pandemic might be on the horizon. He knew in his gut it was coming. “I thought it would be bad, very bad,” he told The Lint Screen. “Not just for the economy, but people, too. I care about people, everyone says so.” He … Read more