New Coronavirus Task Force Member Announced

If anyone knows how to create drama, it’s President Donald J. Trump. The man who made The Apprentice the most popular TV show in history has decided to shake things up with the cast on The White House Cornanvirus Task Force. “We’ve had the highest ratings ever,” the president told The Lint Screen. “Incredible ratings. … Read more

Trump Says “Lincoln is very overrated; I’m doing much better at leading the nation”

One of the things Americans love about President Donald Trump is his humbleness. Yesterday, after fielding softball questions from Fox News anchors, the prez sat with The Lint Screen and let down his hair. “A lot of people think Lincoln was the greatest American president,” said the blond one, “but I think they’re wrong. All … Read more

Trump Defends Disinfectant Claim; Sees Hope In Rat Poison Cure

A global pandemic might rattle some leaders, but fortunately, the United States of America has a stable genius as the helm. At yesterday’s press briefing, President Donald Trump was ridiculed by the lamestream media for his revolutionary idea that injecting disinfectants could eliminate the coronavirus. Today he doubled down. “The fake news doesn’t get it,” … Read more

Kemp Opens Chain of Funeral Homes, Sees Big Opportunity

Before he became Georgia’s governor, Brian Kemp was a successful businessman making money in agribusiness,  financial services, and real estate. Now he has set his astute business mind to a new industry–– death! Kemp came to The Lint Screen offices to discuss his new business venture. “My daddy always told me, he said, son–– when … Read more