Humor

Today President Donald J. Trump gave federal employees a bonus they never counted on–– luxury accommodations when they travel. “I’m very concerned about the efficiency and productivity of our federal employees,” Trump said in a press conference. “I hired a group of hospitality experts from the prestigious firm of ID&E*, and they ran a multi-million … Read more

Some people make idle threats and some people are as serious as a heart attack. Consider Donald J. Trump fatty, calcified plaque clogging all major arteries! The president has been carefully watching weather updates on the progress of Hurricane Dorian, poised to build in strength and cause destruction wherever it hits. “I’ll nip this thing … Read more

He’s done it again. Just when you think President Donald J. Trump couldn’t possibly do a better job at presidenting, he goes and proves you wrong! The big man stormed the beaches of France for the G-7 Conference. The leaders of France, Germany, Italy, Japan, Canada, and the United Kingdom cowered to this American president. … Read more

President Donald J. Trump is a man of vision. The most successful businessman ever, and the best American leader in history has done it again–– he has won his trade war with China! “President Xi of China just called me,” Trump told The Lint Screen, “and he surrendered. Just like after China bombed Pearl Harbor. … Read more

Donald J. Trump is known as one of the greatest dealmakers in the history of civilization. “Everyone says so,” he told The Lint Screen. So when the president set his sights on buying Greenland, only to get rebuffed by Danish prime minister Mette Frederiksen, Trump did what all great masterminds do–– he set a new … Read more

Lady Liberty is one old dame! She was given to the United States in 1886. A gift from the French people who would later give us French Fries (a tastier gift that’s much more important in American history). The old green lady was erected in the harbor of New York City way back when and … Read more