Tag: Patrick Scullin

  • Pelosi Discloses Her Plans To Destroy America

    Pelosi Discloses Her Plans To Destroy America

    If there’s one thing Speaker of The House Nancy Pelosi hates, it’s you. “I can’t stand America,” Pelosi told The Lint Screen. “The only thing I hate more is Americans. Especially the patriotic ones.” Indeed. The pixie of a woman is hellbent on the destruction of our great God-loving, flag-waving, MAGA hat-wearing nation. “Trump keeps…

  • Giuliani Clarifies His Trump Defense Strategy

    Giuliani Clarifies His Trump Defense Strategy

    President Trump’s personal legal beagle, Rudy Giuliani stopped by The Lint Screen offices this morning to clarify statements he made to CNN yesterday. “It’s outrageous how the lamestream liberal media is putting words in my mouth,” Rudy screamed, flashing his million-dollar smile and exuding studliness. “The president has never changed his position. Of course, some people…

  • Borscht Or Burgers? Trump Goes American

    Borscht Or Burgers? Trump Goes American

    Prez decides to serve beefy football players beef-like burgers President Trump faced a difficult decision yesterday–– what to serve the college football champion Clemson Tigers during their White House celebration visit. “The president has excellent taste,” political advisor Stephen Miller told The Lint Screen. “He originally wanted to expand the palates of the players with…

  • Exclusive: Trump-Putin Secret Helsinki Meeting Transcript

    Exclusive: Trump-Putin Secret Helsinki Meeting Transcript

    “The President’s Club” had a super secret meeting–– but we’ve got the inside dope! The Lint Screen has secured a top secret transcript of a private meeting President Donald J. Trump held with Russian President Vladimir Putin in Helsinki in July. The document is the only known transcript of this meeting. Immediately following the world…

  • The Tenth Pick In The Great Album Game

    The Tenth Pick In The Great Album Game

    Pick number ten of the great album game (that’s Pick X for Super Bowl fans, wait–– I don’t want to pay the NFL licensing fees–– that’s Pick X for “The Big Game” fans). My first pick was The Beatles, and I am finishing with Queen. Two British bands, each made an indelible mark in rock…

  • The Ninth Pick In The Great Album Game

    The Ninth Pick In The Great Album Game

    For my ninth pick I’m doing a two-fer–– one great British singer/songwriter and one American. Yeah, I know it’s a cheat, but screw it. My game, my rules. An artist is lucky if he can impact his art once. David Bowie did it again and again and again. I wouldn’t be surprised if he does…