Fri 3 Aug 2012
The dragnet was set. Cops felt confident. The locals were terrified. But Willis Hargrain, the alleged ironic humor killer of two in Anderson, South Carolina, is still at large and apparently leaving more bodies in his deadly wake!
This morning, two employees of Sole Bros. Footwear in Ashville, North Carolina, were found dead at the store. A customer who was in the store at the time, reported that a man fitting Hargrain’s description entered the store and was approached by two employees who asked if he needed help. Hargrain said, “I suppose with this record hot summer, you’re not doing much business in the snowshoe and mukluks department, are you?” The two employees realized the man had wielded a razor wit and immediately convulsed with laughter–– a laugh fest that tragically ended in their deaths. Hargrain reportedly became nervous, grabbed some nylon dress socks, waxed shoelaces and two pair of shoe trees and fled the scene.
The eyewitness heard the joke at a distance laughed himself into intensive care at a local hospital. Doctors say he will be fine following a regimen of watching C-SPAN. The eyewitness released the following statement: “That man, that Willis joker, is a cold blooded killer. What kind of a homicidal maniac uses funny words like ‘mukluk’ with such brazen disregard for human life? He is as big a threat to mankind as is Snooki. That girl is K-R-Aaaaaazy!”
Police have intensified their search for Hargrain.