Worst Song Ever

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The pain, the pain, the insufferable pain! Make it stop!

I’m in the neighborhood supermarket innocently shopping when it happens– the PA system plays one of my most hated songs: “Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?” by that terrorist group calling itself “Chicago”.

I am crippled as the inane lyrics of “walking down the street one day” bebop along accompanied by sunny horns blaring and toot-toot-tooting me down an emotional rathole. The melodic line worms its way into my cerebral cortex and takes root, infesting my brain with its horrible poison. The virus spreads. The horns, the stupid lyrics, the incessant evil background singers– they all roost in my consciousness and permeate my very being. Surely this is the soundtrack of hell.

I am infected.

I am ill.

I am a hostage under siege.

Ironically, only one thing can dissipate the effect: time.

Does anybody really know how much time it will take?

Does anybody really care? I do. I really do.

What is your most hated song? Let the discussion begin.

Comments

20 responses to “Worst Song Ever”

July 13, 2009

Steve Conroy

Worst song – Jeremiah was a Bullfrog by CCR.

Played constantly at a bar in Galveston circa 1972.

One of the few songs I’ll turn off or change.
July 13, 2009

admin

Hateful, yes. I once worked at a store called Woolco where one of my duties was sweeping the floor. For two weeks they had a display set up playing “The Streak” by alleged funnyman Ray Stevens NONSTOP! The damage was permanent…
July 13, 2009

Stan

Only one most hated song? My list is long, but the Top 3 are
1. Billy, Don’t Be a Hero
2. The Night Chicago Died (which, technically, would seem to make Patrick very happy)
3. (Everybody was) Kung Fu Fighting.

And by the way, Steve, don’t blame CCR for a bad song by Three Dog Night.
July 13, 2009

admin

Stan, that is an excellent list of hateful music. Might I add “Wildfire”?

Please, please let me!
July 13, 2009

Stan

Of course you can add “Wildfire”!

And there’s lots more where that came from…

Watching Scotty Grow (or just about any song from Bobby Goldsboro)

Midnight at the Oasis

Do Ya Think I’m Sexy (how could Rod Stewart devolve from The Faces to trying to cash in on disco?)

Keep those horrible song reminders coming!
July 13, 2009

admin

Excellent suggestions, all. It’s like the Hall of Musical Shame.

It seems we now have two sub-categories… “Macarena” kicks off a worst song at weddings category (add “The Electric Glide” for me)…
“Do Ya Think I’m Sexy” opens up a category of respectable artists who laid the occasional musical turd (add McCartney’s “Another Silly Love Song”).
July 13, 2009

Timothy Stapleton

There are so many. Funny how most of those songs are from the 70s, a decade which also gave us some of the last great music.

I like most music, so “hate” doesn’t enter into a lot of it. But I would add a few unpopular favorites. “Seasons of the Sun” by Terry Jacks, most of “ABBA”, “I Always Feel Like Somebody’s watching Me” by Rockwell (Actually Barry Gordy’s son with Michael Jackson singing backup), “King Tut” by Steve Martin, “Rocket Man” By William Shatner (watch it on youtube), That Song by Patrick Swayze, That song by David Soul, “Sometimes When we Touch” By Dan Hill, Any Michael Jackson Duet, “Escape (The Pina Colada Song)” by Rupert Holmes, and on and on and on…
July 13, 2009

Zelda

I really, really hate the song, “Happy Birthday.” It’s boring, repetitive and difficult to sing. It also reminds me of aging.
July 14, 2009

diego

Whitney Houston doing “I Will Always Love You”; I’ve never heard Dolly Parton do it (although she did write it), but it can’t be as bad…
July 14, 2009

Bill

Does anybody really know if listening to music you don’t like inspired you to spend more money in a grocery store? I suspect some clever marketers have discovered that annoying background music leads to bigger sales.
July 14, 2009

admin

Interesting hypothesis, Bill, but bad music makes me lose my groceries…
July 14, 2009

hlinton

@ admin

Yeah, and then you had to buy groceries.
July 14, 2009

gary

Nights in White Satin.

Loathsome, especially in a karaoke bar.
July 15, 2009

admin

Gary opens a whole new category– worst karaoke bar song. Anyone?
July 16, 2009

Bill

Anybody that responds to the question will give the impression that they’ve been in karaoke bars enough to be an authority. It’s sorta like admitting you’ve been to wrestling matches, Krystal restaurants at 3am, the Clairmont lounge, and other fun but tawdry places.
July 16, 2009

Chris

Worst karaoke song == ANY karaoke song.
July 16, 2009

Kitty

I was a journeyman artist who assisted in making the pink and green papier mache hippo in the “Small World” ride at Disneyland. Throughout our lenthy installation process (with the help of those wacky imagineers), on it played, “It’s a world of laughter, a world of tears, it’s a world of hope and a world of tears. There’s so much that we share, that it’s time we’re aware it’s a small world after all.” I attribute any mental illness that I have to hearing that song over and over and over . . .
July 16, 2009

Kitty

Fave karaoke song?
Feelings, whoa, whoa, whoa, Feelings.
(It’s what I hum to get rid of “It’s A Small World.”)
July 17, 2009

admin

You poor, poor dear. I can only imagine the pain and suffering you must have endured. Perhaps a nip and tuck of the ol’ cerebral cortex would set you straight.
July 21, 2009

Mello

Mickey by Tony Basil – heard it way too many times in the 80’s.

Heartbeat by Don Johnson – Really. What was he thinking? I guess after hearing Melanie Griffith’s voice for years, you think you sound pretty good.