All right, I did it. I ponied-up the do re mi and went to see “The Three Stooges” movie written and directed by Bobby and Peter Farrelly. And… drumroll please… it was a disappointment.
Oh, I don’t blame the actors. Sean Hayes, Chris Diamantopoulos and Will Sasso are fine as the Stooges. Credible enough in looks and taking hammers to noggins, fingers to eyes and fists to guts. You also get Larry David and Jane Lynch playing nuns in full habits, plus Sofía Vergara playing a sexy bombshell (she’s a method actor). Yeah, there’s a lot of talent on the screen but it’s wasted on a weak script and direction.
The Farrelly brothers failed. These guys are uneven. They’ve made sophomoric classics like “Dumb and Dumber”, “There’s Something About Mary” and “Kingpin” (maybe the best Amish bowling movie ever made), and they’ve made “meh” films like “Shallow Hal”, “Fever Pitch” and “Hall Pass”. I propose a brother exchange program. We swap a Coen Brother for a Farrelly brother and see what happens.
Nyuk nyuk nyuk.
Your best sophomoric movie dollar is spent on “21 Jump Street” which delivers some good gags and laughs.
Too bad. With just one more film, they could be eligible for a lifetime achievement award at the Oscars. I predict they’ll quietly retreat to their mansions, lick the wounds critics and audiences have inflicted and then come roaring back with yet another sophomoric masterpiece. P.S. The Coen brothers have their own style and probably wouldn’t want to work with the Farrelly brothers. As an alternate possibility, I suggest they consider a light, frothy, sight gag-filled version of “The Brothers Karamazov.” It’s the kind of film i’ve been waiting to see. No doubt you feel the same.
Your “The Brothers Karamazov” idea is brilliant, just the sort of thing Hollywood needs to jump start the ol’ box office. The sequel could be “The Sisters Karamazov”, followed by “Seven Karamazovs for Seven Brothers” and so on.
I forgot to put a copyright mark on my suggestion, which worries me quite a bit. Who knows, after all, how many big-time Hollywood producers read The Lint Screen first thing every morning? Probably many of them. Since thievery is so prevalent in Hollywood, one of them may well see the potential in my “The Brothers Karamazov” idea, along with your wonderfully creative suggestions for sequels, and then we’ll be out of luck. The horse may be out of the barn, but perhaps it’s not too late for us to cover our butts. © 2012. Curvin O’Rielly & The Lint Screen. All rights reserved.
Excellent, Curvin. Your fine legal mind just saved us a bundle. Had you not lept to the rescue, we’d have had to find one of those attorneys who advertises on billboards.
We also won’t fall for their ‘Hollywood accounting’ where they claim that blockbusters never make a profit. I think we all know these movies will be huge.
Alert the moving companies, good sir, soon we relocate to Easy Street in Hollywood!