Donald Trump was not a pet person, but Joe Biden is, and the president has decided to put his pet German Shepherd “Major” do his negotiating with Republican Senators on Biden’s infrastructure plan.
“I want this to be a bipartisan bill,” Biden told The Lint Screen. “And I know Republicans will want to work with me in helping improve American life by improving our infrastructure. To do that, I want them to deal with Major. Although he is a dog, he is very bright, and he’s a stickler for details. Major is also quite persuasive. He usually gets his way. I know my partners across the aisle will enjoy working with Major on this important legislation.”
Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell was shocked when he heard of this development.
“You tell the president we can’t work with a dog,” the man with the turtle-neck said. “What’s a dog know about anything? Dogs are dumb. I hate dogs. I’m not working with any damn dog. That’s an insult!”
This reporter relayed the quotes from the Kentucky Senator to President Biden in The White House. Major growled when he heard McConnell’s flippant response.
“Down, boy, down!” Biden said as he petted his pup. “Maybe Mitch is in a bad mood. Yeah, that must be it. Hey, Major, why don’t you go down to the Senate and have yourself a little talk with Senator McConnell. Maybe you can persuade him you mean business. What do you think, boy– you like that idea? You like it, boy?”
The German Shepherd barked his agreement with his master, and darted out of the Oval Office. The dog bolted down Pennsylvania Avenue and into the Capitol Building.
An hour later, McConnell was removed from the Senate chambers on a stretcher. The Senator was bleeding profusely, and had ribbons of flesh dangling from his body. An aide said McConnell “accidentally fell down some stairs, and that the Senator was really looking forward to working with the president on the Biden Infrastructure Bill when it comes to the Senate.”
Good boy, Major! Good boy!!!
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3 responses to “Biden to have Major negotiate with Republicans on infrastructure”
[…] in history– winning all 50 states and getting over 800 million votes. But Biden somehow won. Sleepy Joe’s crooked, and I was cheated out of re-election. I had MAGA patriots who tried to right the wrong, they wanted […]
[…] Trump’s ass that I can see his lungs and out his pie hole. And since I don’t recognize Joe Biden as having won the election, President Trump has given me immunity from any prosecution because he […]
[…] “Biden is trying to ruin America with his stupid infrastructure plan,” the kooky lawmaker tells The Lint Screen. “Old Joe says we’re going to repair roads and bridges, but what he’s really trying to do is destroy Americans’ pride in their country. There’s not a damn thing wrong with our roads and bridges. This country’s perfect the way it is, and anyone who says anything different is a commie traitor in my book.” […]