The Trump administration’s war on D.E.I. is now aimed at the National Football League Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio.
“It’s high time we eliminate woke politics from sports,” says Stephen Miller, henchman weasel for Trump. “We have allowed D.E.I. to rule our professional teams for too long, and we’re taking action to re-instate fairness into the history books.”
Starting next week, the NFL Hall of Fame will begin erasing all traces of minorities who played the game.
“Imagine taking your white child to the Football Hall of Fame,” Miller says. “The poor kid sees so many black faces immortalized, he naturally becomes sad. What chance does he have to play? The child may never even attempt to play football, and who knows––maybe he could have been one of the greats if it hadn’t been for his exposure to D.E.I. at a young age. It’s a tragedy how this woke policy has destroyed the self-confidence of white people.”
Miller is proud to have all tributes to nonwhite players removed.
“This is the only way to balance the playing field,” Miller says. “And when we’re done cleaning up this place, we’ll be moving on to the basketball and baseball hall of fames. I think they may also have some minorities included because of wokeness. And once we eliminate all traces of D.E.I., we’ll be taking another small step toward making America great again. Go Team MAGA!”
Miller pumps his tiny fist into the air, loses his balance, and stumbles, falling face first on to the floor. He scrambles to his feet.
“I’d probably be in the Football Hall of Fame if it weren’t for D.E.I.,” he says walking away.
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