Fauci “Ready To Rip That Orange Clown’s Face Off”

Dr. Anthony Fauci appears to be a mild-mannered world-renowned immunologist, but don’t be fooled. Beneath that petite exterior is a raging maniac with a lightning-quick temper and a bottomless reservoir of rage. The good doctor spoke with The Lint Screen about his feeling for President Trump. “The guy is a grade-A horse’s ass,” Fauci said, … Read more

Fly On Pence’s Head Nabs Netflix Series Deal

A star was born at last night’s Vice Presidential Debate, and it wasn’t V.P. Mike Pence or V.P. candidate Kamala Harris–– it was the fly who made his debut on the stage of Mike Pence’s snow-white skullcap. The fly, who identified itself as Rex, was all the Americans could talk about. Hollywood uber-agent Ari Emanuel … Read more

Abbott Will Vote For All Texans: “It’s The Neighborly Thing To Do”

The United States of America has fifty governors, but one stands out for thoughtfulness for his people: Texas Republican Governor Greg Abbott. Today Abbott talked with The Lint Screen about his revolutionary plan to save his constituents “from the bother of voting” and why he’s doing it. “Look, you might have heard there’s a pandemic … Read more