Sen. Mitch McConnell is known for being one chill dude (“don’t bogart that blunt, bitch” is his common refrain in Senate chambers), but former President Barack Obama has got his dander up. “That black guy needs to learn to learn how to shut his pie hole,” McConnell told The Lint Screen. “Or somebody’s going to … Read more

If anyone knows how to create drama, it’s President Donald J. Trump. The man who made The Apprentice the most popular TV show in history has decided to shake things up with the cast on The White House Cornanvirus Task Force. “We’ve had the highest ratings ever,” the president told The Lint Screen. “Incredible ratings. … Read more

One of the things Americans love about President Donald Trump is his humbleness. Yesterday, after fielding softball questions from Fox News anchors, the prez sat with The Lint Screen and let down his hair. “A lot of people think Lincoln was the greatest American president,” said the blond one, “but I think they’re wrong. All … Read more

Jared Kushner is disgusted. He is livid some “unpatriotic Americans” are not supporting his father-in-law. “The president has done an incredible job,” Ivanka’s husband told The Lint Screen. “He has been laser-focused on the pandemic for years and he has assembled a team of the smartest people in the world to battle it. And we’ve … Read more

Vice President Mike Pence plays hardball when it comes to health care. The man who President Donald “I am doing an incredible job, a perfect job” Trump charged with heading up the coronavirus task force made a trip to the Mayo Clinic to see life on the frontlines of the battle. While the Mayo Clinic … Read more

A global pandemic might rattle some leaders, but fortunately, the United States of America has a stable genius as the helm. At yesterday’s press briefing, President Donald Trump was ridiculed by the lamestream media for his revolutionary idea that injecting disinfectants could eliminate the coronavirus. Today he doubled down. “The fake news doesn’t get it,” … Read more