The Lint Screen

Tag: Jane Lynch

  • More Stooge Me

    Unfortunately, not enough nyuks for your bucks.

    All right, I did it. I ponied-up the do re mi and went to see “The Three Stooges” movie written and directed by Bobby and Peter Farrelly. And… drumroll please… it was a disappointment.

    Oh, I don’t blame the actors. Sean Hayes, Chris Diamantopoulos and Will Sasso are fine as the Stooges. Credible enough in looks and taking hammers to noggins, fingers to eyes and fists to guts. You also get Larry David and Jane Lynch playing nuns in full habits, plus Sofía Vergara playing a sexy bombshell (she’s a method actor). Yeah, there’s a lot of talent on the screen but it’s wasted on a weak script and direction.

    The Farrelly brothers failed. These guys are uneven. They’ve made sophomoric classics like “Dumb and Dumber”, “There’s Something About Mary” and “Kingpin” (maybe the best Amish bowling movie ever made), and they’ve made “meh” films like “Shallow Hal”, “Fever Pitch” and “Hall Pass”. I propose a brother exchange program. We swap a Coen Brother for a Farrelly brother and see what happens.

    Nyuk nyuk nyuk.

    Your best sophomoric movie dollar is spent on “21 Jump Street” which delivers some good gags and laughs.

  • “Paul”: Disappointment From Outer Space

    Send help immediately! Beam down some laughs and entertainment!!! We’re dying down here!
    I like to think of going to a movie in a darkened theater to be like occupying a spacecraft. The audience is your fellow crew members and the screen is our window to a brave new world.

    I avoid really crowded theaters since some crew members don’t know how to act. I love theaters where the crew is small because these private screenings give the best of all worlds: a huge screen, comfy chair and precious little chance for any distractions.

    I’ve just returned from a mission where there were only three crew members and our window to a new world was the largest screen at a 24-plex. I’m sorry to report the mission was an abject failure–– a steaming pile called Paul. If you’ve even contemplated going, save your money or put it through a shredder; you’ll have a more entertaining time.

    Paul is an alien tale, an adult E.T. with a potty mouth who smokes, drinks and likes his doobies. He’s voiced by Seth Rogan.

    While the effects of Paul speaking and moving are great, what he is saying and doing is dumb and crude. This film was written by and stars Brits Simon Pegg and Nick Frost as nerds from the U.K. exploring Comic Con and all the places of alien lore in the American west. This film wastes the considerable talents of Jason Bateman, Kristen Wiig, Bill Hader, Jane Lynch, Jeffrey Tambor, Sigourney Weaver and Blythe Danner playing the youngest looking 70-year old ever filmed. With all the effects of this movie, you think they could have aged her a little bit.

    I suppose if one were drunk enough or high enough you could mine for laughs in the f-bombs, crotch kicks and women slugging men in the face. And if you did find yourself laughing, this would be a good indication that you’ve hit bottom and it’s time to seek professional help and twelve steps out of the cellar.

    In short, this movie could not end quickly enough for my tastes. Yet, I see on IMDb this sucker got 7.5 stars out of 10. Well, you decide, but don’t say I didn’t warn you…