Mannequin Confessions: Kianti


Kianti is strong and silent, until she opens up.
Kianti is strong and silent, until she opens up.

This is the second in The Lint Screen’s exclusive profiles of mannequins, “The Still Generation.” Today, a high fashion mannequin in Memphis named Kianti shares her thoughts and feelings in a brutally honest confession.

“People always wonder why I’m so quiet but they never stop and ask themselves why they’re always talking and talking and talking when they’re not saying anything worth hearing so maybe they should just button their stupid cake-holes and keep quiet as a church mouse with a ball gag and listen once in awhile because I think you learn a lot more listening than you do talking since when you’re listening you’re allowing the world to enter your brain rather than simply puking whatever’s on your mind out of your mouth and into the atmosphere and frankly I think some of the most dangerous air pollution doesn’t come from industrial smokestacks or stinky bus exhaust pipes but instead comes from big dumb yaps flapping in the breeze because the words spoken by hateful people can hurt a lot more than they think despite that old saying about sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me but that old saw is a load of crap because when people say things like they think I’m too quiet and why doesn’t she open up and why is she so still and motionless well those words really do hurt me because I’m quiet for a good reason and I don’t move because that’s my job and I’m a professional and maybe those miserable people should just be like me and shut the hell up and that’s about all I have to say about the entire matter because if I keep talking I swear I’m going to cry and tears will ruin my make up and spoil this outfit that is stylish and looks fabulous on me, okay?”


4 responses to “Mannequin Confessions: Kianti”

  1. Kianti shows mannequin mastery with the run on sentence. And don’t challenge her to a stare down, either.

  2. She’s kinda cute. I think she’d go for me if she knew me. You say she’s from Memphis? Is she on FaceBook?

  3. Bill, I do believe she is part of that kooky social media brouhaha. Reach out and see about making a connection, I’m sure she’d warm up to a sweetheart like you.

    Good luck!

    PS: keep it on the Q.T. from the wife, they rarely understand mannequin relationships. They can be pretty complex.

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