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Biden brags he’s “matchmaker for my evil domination of America”
Dark Brandon strikes again. MAGA World is abuzz with gonzo conspiracy theories concerning the “alleged romance” between Kansas City superstar wide receiver Travis Kelce and the world’s pop star sweetheart Taylor Swift. “Biden fixed the entire NFL season,” claims Trump 2024 campaign strategist Ralph Juniper. “He pulled strings to get the Chiefs into the Super…
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“We must protect the border security problem until Trump’s in office”
Disgraced twice-impeached, four times indicted, facing 91 felony charges, would-be coup leader ex-President Donald J. Trump is pulling the strings on his puppets to derail any progress on fixing America’s immigration issues. “We must do the right thing for America,” Sen. Minority Leader Mitch McConnell tells The Lint Screen. “We can’t help Biden tighten border…
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Florida Bans Scrabble “To Save The Children,” Says AG
There’s a word for what’s going on in Florida, but since dictionaries and thesauruses have been removed from libraries because they contain “dirty words,” no one is sure what the correct word is for what’s going on. Since wannabe dictator Ron DeSantis became Florida’s Governor, he has enacted many bans and measures to restrict freedom…
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“I can kill anyone whenever I want,” Trump claims
This week, an attorney for disgraced twice-impeached ex-President Donald J. Trump made a startling claim to the judges in a federal appeals court when he said the president is immune from prosecution if he has been impeached by the House but not convicted by the Senate. “If that’s the case,” said Trump’s lawyer, D. John…
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J6 Choir Releasing Patriotic And Led Zepplin Classics Album
Disgraced twice-impeached, four times indicted, facing 91 felony charges, would-be coup leader ex-President Donald J. Trump has rallied his old crew for a unique fundraising effort: an album of classic patriotic songs and covers of popular Led Zeppelin tracks. “It’s disgraceful what Joe Biden’s department of injustness has done,” Trump bellowed to The Lint Screen,…
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Tired of being fat-shamed, Santa gets on Ozempic
The legend of Saint Nicholas goes back to the third century, and he eventually became the plump Santa Claus featured in Coca-Cola advertising in 1930. “You drink Cokes all day and night,” Santa tells The Lint Screen. “Is it any wonder I packed on a few pounds? But people seemed to like the look. They…