The Lint Screen has just learned breaking news in the Madoff Fonzie Scheme.

    Bernie Madoff received a confidential e-mail this afternoon from the attorney representing the deposed NIgerian Prince in possession of a magical Greek fishing cap that makes its owner “as cool as Arthur Fonzarelli”— the same cap Madoff paid $50 billion for over a month ago. 

    The e-mail is printed in its entirety, exactly as received:

    “Deer Mistre Maodff Sir,

    Happy recive your money lately. Many doler bills to count, but I do and it do make fidfty bilon dolerz. Very good yes!!! 

    As promis, am soon to send the Prince hat to you for to ware and be lik Fonzee– aaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy that cool yes is vary cool!

    Prince wunders if he might  reqest a bit mor muny for postag to send hat. Mail is vary expensiv. Maybey only anuther milon or tu dolerz for stamp.

    Is good? Hope see muny frum you  soon so you ware hat soon tu!!!

    Sincerly,

    Amir “Skip” Mahdi, Atturny

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    Madoff is reportedly franticly searching his apartment for spare change and has called Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick to arrange a meeting on a hot investment idea he has.