The Lint Screen

Denny’s Hits Grand Slam Traffic Builder

Written by

PD Scullin

in

 

This is the cheese that built a better mousetrap...
This is the cheese that built a better mousetrap…

    During the Super Bowl, a rather important football game played on Sunday, the restaurant chain Denny’s aired a commercial inviting people to enjoy a free Grand Slam breakfast on Tuesday. And yesterday, Denny’s made good on its promise attracting over two million people to its 1,500 locations to shovel the 770 calorie Grand Slam breakfast into their pancake holes.

    “It was amazing,” said Bob Thrubottlin, manager of the Denny’s in Lilburn, Georgia, I’ve never seen this place so packed or our cooks so doggone busy. They were cracking eggs like nervous hens in an earthquake.”

     The promotion was such a success, the excited manager is hoping it becomes a regular menu item. “I’m telling you, I think we’ve captured lightning in a bottle with this baby,” said Thrubottlin. “This Free Grand Slam Breakfast is something that attracts folks like june bugs to warm honey. I’m talking to corporate and seeing if we can’t add a free lunch and a free dinner special, too. I need to build traffic in all dayparts! This free food seems to be the secret to success in this business!” Patrons of the restaurant readily agreed they would visit more often if the food were “more freer.”

    There was no comment from corporate on Manger Thrubottlin’s suggestion .

Comments

7 responses to “Denny’s Hits Grand Slam Traffic Builder”

  1. Jim Ferguson Avatar
    Jim Ferguson

    I was expecting them to charge me $5 for a cup of coffee or some other bullshit like that, but they didn’t. And they even brought me extra syrup! The Mafioso spot was also my favorite commercial of the Super Bowl. Don’t get me wrong, I like a good nut joke but I thought that on a scale of 1-10, the Dorito only served up a 7. Gotta run. I hear they are giving away free cheese at the Hickory Farm!
    Ferg

  2. Patrick Scullin Avatar
    Patrick Scullin

    I suspect the real problem was people who walked the check felt cheated.

  3. Paul van Winkle Avatar
    Paul van Winkle

    …but with all the bad feelings, “dine-and-dash-ers” are now lined up in therapists’ offices nationwide. It’s all part of the interconnected new qunatum economy.

    Personally I think we’ve gotta stop all this free-dom. Bankers, money-lenders and tyrants may be positively influenced. And then what?

  4. everysandwich Avatar
    everysandwich

    I agree with Jim on the mafioso spot. I was so entertained by the schtick I almost missed the free breakfast message. Tragically, shifting demographics ran the Denny’s out of my neighborhood, and not in a good way.

  5. Zelda Avatar
    Zelda

    Tom and I went to our local Denny’s for the free breakfast. We were happy, but our waitress was not. I said, “What’s the matter, honey?” She said, “You didn’t leave a tip!” I said, “Sure we did! We left 15% of the total bill.” She said, “15% of nothing is nothing!” I said, “Okay, okay, we’ll make it 100%!”

  6. Patrick Scullin Avatar
    Patrick Scullin

    In this tight economy, you should have upped it to 110%.

  7. P2K Avatar
    P2K

    With all due respect Mafioso was impressive, but where’s the love for that Bananapuss thing?

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